Whether you have it on repeat or you skip it every time it comes on, the song is popular enough to engrain in our hearts and minds that Christmas is “the most wonderful time of the year.” Even if it’s been a while (or never) since you’ve sung carols in the snow (especially if you live in CA), toasted marshmallows, or gone “mistletoeing,” the song ushers in warm and fond memories of Christmases past that put us in the mood to celebrate once again. For so many, it really is the most wonderful time of the year.
But there’s another possible label that is very fitting for this time of year. It could also be known as “The Most Deceptive Time of the Year.” Consider how much of an emphasis is placed on giving. The expression “it’s better to give than to receive” probably gets more exposure during the month of December than it does the other eleven months of the year combined. Organizations have Giving Trees displayed to help those in need. Retailers even guilt us with the enticement to shop at their store to make sure you’re giving the perfect gift.
It might sound like I’m blasting all of those examples outright, as if they are inherently sinister or shady. That certainly isn’t the case. As they stand on their own, they are good reminders, and necessary ones, so that I don’t allow a season associated with gift exchanges to become entirely about what gifts I’m getting.
No, the warning comes in recognizing how persistently our pride seeks to make everything – even giving – about us. Yes, our pride is such a master of disguise that it can even expertly hide behind something that on the surface appears to be all about other people. That’s why this season can be so deceptive. A season of giving and putting others first is simply another way for my pride to place itself on a pedestal for all to see.
Don’t underestimate our pride’s ability to hide behind giving. A whole season that is supposedly all about giving is the perfect cloak under which to hide my pride. So when I hear the reminder that it’s better to give than to receive, my pride perks up at the word “better,” and immediately zeros in on my own selfless acts of generosity and raises them up far above those other people who only complain about not getting this gift or that gift, or how cheap someone was toward them in their gift exchange. I don’t hesitate to impress others with my stories, making sure they haven’t missed the news of my participation in this Giving Tree campaign or that toy drive or that other cause for people in need. When others come to know me as the person who always gives such good gifts, is my giving really about finding that perfect gift for the other person or has it become more about keeping up that reputation of world’s greatest gift-giver? In each of these cases, can we see ourselves as the puffed up pharisee standing next to the tax collector, thanking God that he’s not more like that guy? It’s such a natural bent that we have toward sin that pride can even make something like giving all about me. Then we’re doing the opposite of everyone’s favorite Christmas magnet, “Keeping Christ in Christmas,” by taking out the “Christ” and replacing it with ourselves.
But here’s the rub: if we are going to experience a real Christmas this year, we have to come clean with our natural inclination to make it about us. As long as we imagine that the responsibility of making it a real Christmas or giving someone else a real Christmas, we’re going to end up with an artificial attempt that is worse than a fake tree so bad that not even Goodwill can unload it. So, want a real Christmas? Realize it’s not about you.
Don’t you get a clear sense of that from both Mary and Elizabeth? Well, kind of, anyway. It was about them, but not about what they had done or achieved or about being recognized by others, but rather about what they had received: God’s grace. And as they express their amazement of being on the receiving end of such favor, they clearly realize how little they deserve it!
Appreciate first how Elizabeth reflected this. “In a loud voice she exclaimed: ‘Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the child you will bear! But why am I so favored, that the mother of my Lord should come to me? As soon as the sound of your greeting reached my ears, the baby in my womb leaped for joy. Blessed is she who has believed that the Lord would fulfill his promises to her!” (v.42-45). Elizabeth’s attitude wasn’t one of arrogant expectation that Mary would visit her, since she would after all be giving birth to John the Baptist, the forerunner of the Savior. No, she asks why she should be deemed worthy of a visit from the mother of the Savior of the world. That’s genuine humility! And following that, she belts out blessings to Mary, not praising her for any Mother Theresa-type good works or anything along those lines, but simply for having a humble faith that believed what God had promised to do for her. Remember, Mary was the one who came to visit Elizabeth,yet Elizabeth made it all about Mary.
Mary did something similar. She came to celebrate the good news with Elizabeth, but her celebration was all about her Savior. Her song, known historically in the church as the Magnificat, is a beautiful example of genuine humility. When Mary references herself, it is only in the context of being on the receiving end of what God has done and is still doing for her. Otherwise, the whole song is filled with “He” – as an ode to all of the amazing things that God has done and continues to do for his people. So both Elizabeth or Mary didn’t make it about themselves; they made it about their Savior. They humbly – yet jubilantly! – praised their Savior.
A real Christmas is about giving. But not about using giving as an outlet to put our pride into practice. And, even in those cases where our giving is genuine (and not a pretense for our pride), it’s still misguided if the intent of our giving is to somehow manufacture a “real’ Christmas. Instead, the kind of giving that makes for a real Christmas is giving Jesus the attention that Elizabeth and Mary did.
And he deserves it, because as Mary confessed, in his mercy, he doesn’t give us what we deserve. “His mercy extends to those who fear him, from generation to generation” (v.50). “He has helped his servant Israel, remembering to be merciful to Abraham and his descendants forever…” (v.54-55a). God’s mercy means our pride no longer damns us! Mercy means God hasn’t treated our selfish pride as it deserves. Mercy means we have just as much reason to celebrate the Savior as Elizabeth and Mary did!
But for those not interested in that mercy, who prefer to remain in their pride, God has something for them, too. “He has scattered those who are proud in their inmost thoughts. He has brought down rulers from their thrones…” (v.51-52a). Pride is nothing more than a human attempt at raising oneself above God, and God is no stranger to dealing with it. He has shown throughout history how he handles it, and he won’t hesitate to humble those insisting they have something of which to be proud.
But that is not God’s greatest desire. Think about it differently. If God’s greatest interest was merely behavior modification (for example, to make us more humble), if that’s all that Christianity was about – doing the right things and living the right way, then God would have addressed pride (and all other sin!) much differently. He would have sent his Son – but perhaps with a team of elite angels to sniff out sin and immediately punish it wherever they found it. That would get people to shape up very quickly, wouldn’t it?!?
But his preference is to show mercy. And Christmas is proof. God didn’t send his Son to change your behavior; he sent his Son to be your Savior. When we set aside our pride long enough to see that Christmas isn’t about us, that’s when we’re free to see Christ clearly, and see that… he already made Christmas all about us!
Do you get it? When I make Christmas all about me, I suffer the most, because I am blinded to the reality that God already made Christmas all about me. If not, he would not have sent his Son to save. But he did, which is how you can be certain that Christmas is all about you.
When we know that Christmas is actually all about us – in the right way! – then we can revisit that whole matter of giving. And we can do so by following in the footsteps of humble Elizabeth and Mary. Yes, give. Give glory and praise to God this Christmas! Make Christmas about Christ. Give to God by going to church. Give to God by getting in the Word. Give to God by giving a special Christmas offering. Give to God by taking time over the twelve days of Christmas to consider how to give him more of you in the next year. Give thought to how you can make Mary’s words your own and how you can put those words into practice in your life: “My soul glorifies the Lord and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior…” (v. 46-47).