Tag: pride

DAILY PRAYERS FOR GUYS

adbLeave a comment

For a Healthy Body Image

Lord God,
Your Word assures us that we are fearfully and wonderfully made. While we marvel at the detail and design that went into creating mankind, the crown of your creation, we confess that we don’t always feel all that special. While women have traditionally struggled more with body image, men are not immune. Images of shirtless men sporting six packs or hitting the gym are widespread, and can leave those with dad bods discouraged and deflated. Lead guys to be realistic and reasonable about their physical appearances, and to be willing to share their struggles with others. Let us embrace taking care of our bodies as a natural part of our calling, and just one more way we can honor and thank you. Help us to view it as a privilege and not a pain, and let our worth be determined not by what we see in the mirror, but by remembering the price you were willing to pay to make us yours. 

In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen. 

DAILY PRAYERS FOR GUYS

adbLeave a comment

To Be Willing to Own My Wrongs

Patient Lord,
It’s not easy to admit when I’ve been in the wrong. What is easy is getting defensive when someone points out my faults, accuses me of sin, or implies that I should have handled a matter differently. When these situations arise, so does my pride, which gets stirred up whenever it senses my reputation is in question. I then seek to defend, excuse, justify, blame, and even flat out deny the possibility of any error or wrongdoing on my part.

Instead, lead me to swap out my pride for a humble spirit that seeks first to understand the matter. Then, let me be willing to admit fault and own whatever wrong is mine to own. Finally, never let me shy away from an opportunity to apologize, repent, and ask for forgiveness. Rather than being so self-assured and confident of my own self-righteousness, grant me the self-awareness and willingness to first review my own thoughts, words, and actions with a measure of skepticism. Cause me to be open to analyzing my role from the perspective of what I could have done or said differently to avoid things ending up the way they did. Let me be so confident of your grace and forgiveness, that I never have to deceive myself or others into thinking that I am not in need of it.

In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen. 

Those Lacking Humility Will Be Humiliated

adbLeave a comment

(Luke 14:1, 7-14)

Most of us generally don’t go around tooting our own horns. There are a few exceptions, of course, but even if we do tend to think pretty highly of ourselves, we know better than to openly express it in conversations with others. We know how that comes off and it isn’t a good look in social situations. 

In the parable Jesus told in Luke 14, what is our takeaway? Does the parable serve simply to validate for us that letting others know how highly we think of ourselves in social situations is taboo, and not worth the risk of back-firing? Jesus painted a mortifying picture of what could happen to the party guest who jumps right to the place of honor. “When someone invites you to a wedding feast, do not take the place of honor, for a person more distinguished than you may have been invited. If so, the host who invited both of you will come and say to you, ‘Give this person your seat.’ Then, humiliated, you will have to take the least important place” (v.8-9).

Imagine being called out like that in a room full of people! We would want to crawl under a rock and die! So what is the real reason we’d avoid doing such a thing? Let’s be honest. Would it be our own genuine humility prompting us to avoid taking the best seat in the house, or would it more likely be prompted by our fear of being publicly humiliated?

While we’re pretty good at hiding our lack of humility before others, a little more detective work on ourselves ends up showing our true colors. Here’s what I mean. In the parable Jesus told, very few of us would actually take the place of honor, because in that context, doing so would put us under the microscope. When you show up at a wedding reception, for example, you don’t go grab a seat at the head table with the rest of the bridal party. Rather, you find your assigned seat. That kind of a situation is a no-brainer.

But what do we do in any other situation without assigned seating, when we’re anonymous, or when others aren’t paying attention? We look for the best seat. We want the best view possible. We want to be closest to our kid. We got there first. We…we… we. Me… me… me…

So we might think ourselves pretty good at hiding our lack of genuine humility in some social settings where our actions are under scrutiny. However, whenever it’s a free-for-all, we don’t even bat an eye at going for the best spot (and, we even have our own mental list of justifications for doing so!). My point is not that it’s wrong or sinful to want or pursue the best or ideal spot at times; rather, it just shows our default mode of who we’re really putting first in our lives: me… me… me. 

Odd, isn’t it, that we don’t arrive at our kids’ game, identify the best seat, and then immediately look for a lesser seat so that someone else can have the good one we just found? When we pull into a crowded parking lot and manage to score a spot close to the entrance, we don’t keep on driving right past it and make our way to the far side of the lot so that we can keep those prime spots open for other more deserving drivers (Costco, anyone?). 

Why don’t we naturally do those things? Because even though we may be pretty good at masking our outward actions to hide our lack of humility in situations when others might notice, our natural innate efforts at looking to be first or for the best spot reveal much more about what we really think of ourselves in our own hearts. 

Why does this matter of humility rub us the wrong way so much? Because it opposes our natural senses. Success, advancement, promotion – all of these things in every area of life come as a result of hard work. Achievement. Effort. We are used to getting ahead and moving forward on the basis of our own merit. We recognize and value progress and productivity.

And, on the other hand, we don’t celebrate mediocrity, stagnation, or the status quo – and we certainly don’t celebrate decline or regression. The habitually late and mistake-prone worker isn’t going to be nominated for employee of the month. They don’t give Golden Globes or Grammys for shows no one watches or albums no one listens to. Those who fail to perform fail to get noticed. 

We might think we know better as Christians, right? We know we aren’t saved by our performance, but by grace. Faith in Jesus – not, “job well done” – is the basis of our confidence.

But why then does a Christian struggle so much when surrounded by other Christians who “aren’t very Christian?” Why do we so often seek to make ourselves feel better about our Christian walk not by personal confession and absolution, but by comparing ourselves to other “underperforming” Christians? Because I need others to know that I’m something, I’m someone. Because deep down inside I think I’m something, I’m someone.

What we fail to realize is that even our own identification or classification of  “underperforming” Christians isn’t just a judgment or assessment of them, but also an assessment of ourselves as the standard of measurement. Whenever we spot an “underperforming” Christian, we are making that judgment in comparison to how we are performing.

While we may not think about it that way, when is the last time you disapproved of someone you considered to be a “better” Christian than you? When did you look down on a Christian you considered to be more sanctified than you? It doesn’t happen, does it? So the struggle with the lack of humility is every bit as challenging for Christians as it is anyone else.

That’s really what Jesus was showing in his first parable. As he stated, “all those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted” (v.11). Anyone who lacks humility – even Christians – will eventually be humiliated one way or another. So Jesus wants us to know something that is so important about humility that we can never really deal with it unless we are aware: the problem with a lack of humility is always a heart problem. 

While that may not be as clear in his first parable, it is more evident in the second teaching he provided to the host of the gathering he was attending. “Then Jesus said to his host, ‘When you give a luncheon or dinner, do not invite your friends, your brothers or sisters, your relatives, or your rich neighbors; if you do, they may invite you back and so you will be repaid’” (v.12). Jesus was not telling his host he could never have his friends, family, or even the wealthy over for dinner. That was not his point. Rather, he was speaking to the motivation for inviting such guests. If you have ulterior motives for inviting such guests over, thinking that it may pay dividends for you in the future, is that motivated by humility or pride? 

On the other hand, consider the alternative guest list that Jesus encouraged. “But when you give a banquet, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind, and you will be blessed.” (v.13-14a). To include this category of guests is to get much closer to humility, because inviting the poor, the crippled, the lame, and the blind is to not see them as poor, crippled, lame, or blind, but simply to see them as guests. Pride would have nothing to do with such a guest list, because it wouldn’t waste time with those it viewed as inferior or insignificant. Humility, however, is honored to have any guests to host and to humbly serve.

That’s what makes humility such a struggle. It isn’t a code we can crack. It isn’t something we can figure out. It isn’t a five-step process. It’s much simpler than that, and much harder at the same time. Jesus’ call for our humility shows us that we aren’t. We aren’t humble by nature. We can’t achieve humility by just putting in more effort.

That’s because what we are by nature is prideful. And when that’s what we are, then we need more than just a self-help program to turn things around. We need more than a few healthy habits or quick hacks to achieve humility. To make sure the only humiliation we ever experience is here and now, and not the eternal humiliation when God permanently turns away the proud, pride needs to be put to death. It needs to be killed. 

And that is exactly what happened on the cross. “Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires” (Galatians 5:24). “With its passions and desires” includes the pride that is so passionate about self. That, too, was crucified along with Christ. And what does it mean to be crucified? It means death. Killed. Dead. Christ, who alone qualified as perfectly humble, assumed our pride, took it on himself, and was nailed to the cross with it in our place. What Jesus did – the greatest achievement ever – was not for his own recognition, but for our salvation. The sin of pride has been paid for. That part of us has died.

Why allow it to be resurrected then in our hearts again? It’s dead. Let it stay dead. How? Not by trying harder and harder to be more humble, but by relying more and more on God. See then, humility isn’t a matter of trying to be more humble, but rather relying more on God. Reliance on God results in humility, but not because I’m thinking more of my own humility; rather, because I’m focused more on my good and gracious Savior and his righteousness that is mine only by faith. Humility is simply reliance on God. 

Relying on God comes more naturally when I consider what I know about my future. I don’t have to worry about being recognized or exalted, because I already know what God has in store for me one day. Oh, I may never experience that during this lifetime, but the reward is all ready and waiting for me when I get home to heaven. That’s what Jesus had in mind when he said, “you will be repaid at the resurrection of the righteous.” (Luke 14:14). We aren’t waiting to be repaid by others for our actions here – that payment is waiting for us in heaven. 

Relying on God also comes more naturally when I consider what I know about the present, when I remember what he has for me right now. James reminds us, “he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says: ‘God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.’ Submit yourselves, then, to God” (4:6-7). So many bristle at the idea of humbling themselves before God and submitting to him, but how how they are missing out! Look what he has in store for those who humbly submit to him: grace.

The heart over-inflated with pride has no need of more room for grace, or so it thinks. But the heart deflated in humility will be filled up with grace upon grace. So the key to humility is not trying to get rid of our pride, and it isn’t making the effort to be more humble. The key to humility is grace. And it comes in endless amounts to those who know they need it, and rely on it alone for this life and eternal life. Want to be more humble? Fill up on more grace. 

DAILY PRAYERS FOR GUYS

adbLeave a comment

For Grace to Live Humbly

Loving Lord,
Ever since your image was lost in the Fall, we all come into this world with one thing on our mind: ourselves. Even believers, who have had your image restored through faith in Jesus, still battle selfishness daily. Only through your grace can we ever hope to win that battle.

Grace shows me what true humility looks like. Grace shows me a Savior who put sinners before himself. Grace shows me I have all the approval and affection I need from you, which could never be obtained through my own accolades or achievements. Grace equips and frees me to love others and concern myself with my neighbor’s needs and wants before my own. Grace forgives my many failed attempts at humility, and puts me back on the path toward it whenever necessary. Therefore, as I pursue humility, let me look no further than your grace. 

In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen. 

DAILY PRAYERS FOR GUYS

adbLeave a comment

For Success… as You Define It

Gracious God,
People sacrifice countless hours and spend endless amounts of energy chasing after success, however they define it. While success is, for the most part, a good and positive thing, becoming consumed with the pursuit of it is not. When we demand it at all costs and refuse to settle for anything less, success has become our idol, our first love. 

As I ask you for success in my life, I do so submitting myself to your definition of it. Grant me success as you define it and as you determine is best for me and for my neighbor. Protect my heart from an unhealthy drive to achieve success that would compromise my morals or disregard how I treat others. No success is worth going against the framework of my faith. When you do grant me success, ensure that it is followed up with plenty of gratitude, fully acknowledging it as a gift from you. Use this thanksgiving to keep me humble, so that I do not allow my pride to get its foot in the door and demand recognition for your gift of success. 

In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen. 

DAILY PRAYERS FOR GUYS

adbLeave a comment

Prayers from the Prodigal (Part 4)

Forgiving Father,
Through the “lost” parables in Luke 15, we become aware of how radical your grace truly is. When I am on the receiving end of your compassion and see your capacity for forgiveness, it leaves me a changed man. To be freely welcomed and fully forgiven for all that I have ever done wrong is not only life-changing, but eternity-altering! With this as my reality, there is no place for bitterness or grudges against others when they sin against me. How can I possibly withhold forgiveness from anyone else while standing before a gracious Father who has not chosen to treat me that way? No, let my willingness to forgive others be a perfect reflection of your faithful willingness to forgive me. The world does not need more unmerciful servants, but more forgiving fathers. Help me to be one.

In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen. 

DAILY PRAYERS FOR GUYS

adbLeave a comment

Prayers from the Prodigal (Part 3)

Forgiving Father,
Through the “lost” parables in Luke 15, we become aware of how radical your grace truly is. Regardless of which son we identify with – the prodigal young son or the prideful older son – we need the same thing: the forgiving father. And in you, we have just that!

As we stumble our way through this life and press on toward our heavenly home, some naturally assume that rigid rules and the threat of a strict, stern disciplinarian are necessary to keep everyone on track. But yours is a better way! Your unconditional love, your open arms, your warm welcome – these are what draw sinners to you. Moreover, it is your heart for us – not the terror or fear we feel – that keeps us on the path of your righteousness to the open door that leads to eternal life. You paid a dear price to be able to forgive us again and again and again, and the sacrifice of your own Son is our only hope for being welcomed to our eternal home. Oh, how we need a forgiving Father! And there you are, always welcoming this lost-on-his-own son, with open arms and gushing with grace. Thank you!

In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen. 

DAILY PRAYERS FOR GUYS

adbLeave a comment

Prayers from the Prodigal (Part 2)

Forgiving Father,
Through the “lost” parables in Luke 15, we become aware of how radical your grace truly is. The father’s compassionate patience toward his older son becomes even more real to us when our eyes are opened to see how often we are that older son. While grace is by definition undeserved, we cannot escape the notion that grace is for good people and not for bad people. In our own minds, we create a narrative in which we frame ourselves to be righteous, morally superior, and filled with good intentions. When we see grace extended to those who don’t have their act together like we do, we sulk and pout just as the older brother did.  

I confess to thinking so highly of myself and so little of others. Forgive me for failing to be honest when my acts of righteousness aren’t really out of loving gratitude for you, but rather to puff up myself and pad my own spiritual resumé. Strip me of my pride and lead me instead to rejoice every time your grace wins anyone over. Welcome this prideful sinner back again, as you have so many times before, with open arms and gushing with grace. 

In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen. 

DAILY PRAYERS FOR GUYS

adbLeave a comment

To Guard Me against Glory-Seeking

Dear Father,
We live in an age when the internet and social media have created more ways than ever for people to become popular. Sometimes that popularity is merited, based on impressive accomplishments that were achieved through dedication and hard work. Other times, though, it seems to happen for reasons beyond anyone’s explanation. Getting noticed for either of those reasons is neither good nor bad necessarily, but pride can quickly see that things take a turn for the worse. 

I ask you to guard my heart from the desire to pursue popularity as a means of glory-seeking. There are noble pursuits to focus on which would serve the greater good in their own right, and then there are efforts simply to get known. Let me be so satisfied in being known and loved by you that I don’t need to crave the world’s validation or the glory that might come with it. Whatever glory the world can offer falls woefully short of the significance of belonging to you. Let that be more than enough for me.

In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen. 

A Real Christmas Is (Not) All About You

adbLeave a comment

(Luke 1:39-55)

Whether you have it on repeat or you skip it every time it comes on, the song is popular enough to engrain in our hearts and minds that Christmas is “the most wonderful time of the year.” Even if it’s been a while (or never) since you’ve sung carols in the snow (especially if you live in CA), toasted marshmallows, or gone “mistletoeing,” the song ushers in warm and fond memories of Christmases past that put us in the mood to celebrate once again. For so many, it really is the most wonderful time of the year.

But there’s another possible label that is very fitting for this time of year. It could also be known as “The Most Deceptive Time of the Year.” Consider how much of an emphasis is placed on giving. The expression “it’s better to give than to receive” probably gets more exposure during the month of December than it does the other eleven months of the year combined. Organizations have Giving Trees displayed to help those in need. Retailers even guilt us with the enticement to shop at their store to make sure you’re giving the perfect gift.

It might sound like I’m blasting all of those examples outright, as if they are inherently sinister or shady. That certainly isn’t the case. As they stand on their own, they are good reminders, and necessary ones, so that I don’t allow a season associated with gift exchanges to become entirely about what gifts I’m getting. 

No, the warning comes in recognizing how persistently our pride seeks to make everything – even giving – about us. Yes, our pride is such a master of disguise that it can even expertly hide behind something that on the surface appears to be all about other people. That’s why this season can be so deceptive. A season of giving and putting others first is simply another way for my pride to place itself on a pedestal for all to see.

Don’t underestimate our pride’s ability to hide behind giving. A whole season that is supposedly all about giving is the perfect cloak under which to hide my pride. So when I hear the reminder that it’s better to give than to receive, my pride perks up at the word “better,” and immediately zeros in on my own selfless acts of generosity and raises them up far above those other people who only complain about not getting this gift or that gift, or how cheap someone was toward them in their gift exchange. I don’t hesitate to impress others with my stories, making sure they haven’t missed the news of my participation in this Giving Tree campaign or that toy drive or that other cause for people in need. When others come to know me as the person who always gives such good gifts, is my giving really about finding that perfect gift for the other person or has it become more about keeping up that reputation of world’s greatest gift-giver? In each of these cases, can we see ourselves as the puffed up pharisee standing next to the tax collector, thanking God that he’s not more like that guy? It’s such a natural bent that we have toward sin that pride can even make something like giving all about me. Then we’re doing the opposite of everyone’s favorite Christmas magnet, “Keeping Christ in Christmas,” by taking out the “Christ” and replacing it with ourselves.

But here’s the rub: if we are going to experience a real Christmas this year, we have to come clean with our natural inclination to make it about us. As long as we imagine that the responsibility of making it a real Christmas or giving someone else a real Christmas, we’re going to end up with an artificial attempt that is worse than a fake tree so bad that not even Goodwill can unload it. So, want a real Christmas? Realize it’s not about you. 

Don’t you get a clear sense of that from both Mary and Elizabeth? Well, kind of, anyway. It was about them, but not about what they had done or achieved or about being recognized by others, but rather about what they had received: God’s grace. And as they express their amazement of being on the receiving end of such favor, they clearly realize how little they deserve it!

Appreciate first how Elizabeth reflected this. “In a loud voice she exclaimed: ‘Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the child you will bear! But why am I so favored, that the mother of my Lord should come to me? As soon as the sound of your greeting reached my ears, the baby in my womb leaped for joy. Blessed is she who has believed that the Lord would fulfill his promises to her!” (v.42-45). Elizabeth’s attitude wasn’t one of arrogant expectation that Mary would visit her, since she would after all be giving birth to John the Baptist, the forerunner of the Savior. No, she asks why she should be deemed worthy of a visit from the mother of the Savior of the world. That’s genuine humility! And following that, she belts out blessings to Mary, not praising her for any Mother Theresa-type good works or anything along those lines, but simply for having a humble faith that believed what God had promised to do for her. Remember, Mary was the one who came to visit Elizabeth,yet Elizabeth made it all about Mary.

Mary did something similar. She came to celebrate the good news with Elizabeth, but her celebration was all about her Savior. Her song, known historically in the church as the Magnificat, is a beautiful example of genuine humility. When Mary references herself, it is only in the context of being on the receiving end of what God has done and is still doing for her. Otherwise, the whole song is filled with “He” – as an ode to all of the amazing things that God has done and continues to do for his people. So both Elizabeth or Mary didn’t make it about themselves; they made it about their Savior. They humbly – yet jubilantly! – praised their Savior.

A real Christmas is about giving. But not about using giving as an outlet to put our pride into practice. And, even in those cases where our giving is genuine (and not a pretense for our pride), it’s still misguided if the intent of our giving is to somehow manufacture a “real’ Christmas. Instead, the kind of giving that makes for a real Christmas is giving Jesus the attention that Elizabeth and Mary did. 

And he deserves it, because as Mary confessed, in his mercy, he doesn’t give us what we deserve. “His mercy extends to those who fear him, from generation to generation” (v.50). “He has helped his servant Israel, remembering to be merciful to Abraham and his descendants forever…” (v.54-55a). God’s mercy means our pride no longer damns us! Mercy means God hasn’t treated our selfish pride as it deserves. Mercy means we have just as much reason to celebrate the Savior as Elizabeth and Mary did!

But for those not interested in that mercy, who prefer to remain in their pride, God has something for them, too. “He has scattered those who are proud in their inmost thoughts. He has brought down rulers from their thrones…” (v.51-52a). Pride is nothing more than a human attempt at raising oneself above God, and God is no stranger to dealing with it. He has shown throughout history how he handles it, and he won’t hesitate to humble those insisting they have something of which to be proud.

But that is not God’s greatest desire. Think about it differently. If God’s greatest interest was merely behavior modification (for example, to make us more humble), if that’s all that Christianity was about – doing the right things and living the right way, then God would have addressed pride (and all other sin!) much differently. He would have sent his Son – but perhaps with a team of elite angels to sniff out sin and immediately punish it wherever they found it. That would get people to shape up very quickly, wouldn’t it?!?

But his preference is to show mercy. And Christmas is proof. God didn’t send his Son to change your behavior; he sent his Son to be your Savior. When we set aside our pride long enough to see that Christmas isn’t about us, that’s when we’re free to see Christ clearly, and see that… he already made Christmas all about us! 

Do you get it? When I make Christmas all about me, I suffer the most, because I am blinded to the reality that God already made Christmas all about me. If not, he would not have sent his Son to save. But he did, which is how you can be certain that Christmas is all about you.

When we know that Christmas is actually all about us – in the right way! – then we can revisit that whole matter of giving. And we can do so by following in the footsteps of humble Elizabeth and Mary. Yes, give. Give glory and praise to God this Christmas! Make Christmas about Christ. Give to God by going to church. Give to God by getting in the Word. Give to God by giving a special Christmas offering. Give to God by taking time over the twelve days of Christmas to consider how to give him more of you in the next year. Give thought to how you can make Mary’s words your own and how you can put those words into practice in your life: “My soul glorifies the Lord and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior…” (v. 46-47).