Month: September 2023

A Story of Faultless Fairness

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(Matthew 20:1-16)

Kids love stories. Before they can even identify letters or read words, they are able to pick out their favorite books and have them read to them over and over and over again. As they are able to read on their own, they learn to like different characters and authors and get into book series and appreciate hearing how story lines play out over longer periods of time.

It isn’t just kids who love stories. Everyone likes stories – adults included. Whether they’re romance novels, gripping mysteries, tales of vigilante justice, or historical non-fiction, good stories will be appreciated. It’s also true of movies. While special effects and star power carry some weight, movies that have staying power are popular because of the story. Stories are powerful. Stories are moving. Stories can be life-changing. And so, stories and those who tell them will always have a measure of influence in the world.

Jesus knew the power of stories. Sometimes he referenced true stories from Old Testament history; other times he told another kind of story: a parable. In fact, parables were one of Jesus’ most popular teaching methods. Through parables, he used earthly stories to convey spiritual truths. In so doing, he helped his listeners grasp the important points he wanted them to learn – and in a much more powerful way than just bullet points. It would have been one thing for Jesus simply to tell his listeners to forgive. It was another thing to tell the parable of the unmerciful servant and showcase forgiveness (or the lack thereof!) in a memorable way. It was a story that left a powerful impact. Throughout this series of posts, Tell Us a Story, we’ll hear Jesus tell us a number of stories. May they not only capture our attention, but also our hearts, and may their truths be reflected in our lives.  

The story Jesus tells in Matthew 20 shows how different God’s idea of fairness is from ours. Our fallen world operates with a flawed sense of fairness. How could we really expect anything different? How could we expect two self-serving sides in any negotiation or arrangement to approach it with anything but a skewed sense of fairness? Each side is most concerned with making sure its own best interests are served. When each side has its own subjective idea of what is fair, achieving fairness will be nothing but a pipe dream. Just consider how many different labor strikes across various industries have happened, are happening right now, or are being threatened. Inevitably, employers and employees disagree as to what is fair.

That’s why the surprise of the workers in Jesus’ parable doesn’t surprise us. We’re not shocked to see their shock when the landowner distributes wages at the end of the day. The reason we’re not not surprised or shocked is because we’d likely respond exactly the same way!

No, the surprise comes not in the workers’ reaction, but in the landowner’s decision to pay everyone equally. The landowner determined that those who barely finished tying up the laces of their work boots were going to make exactly as much as those who put in a grueling day’s work. Ironic, isn’t it, that we scream “inequality!” when in reality he gave everyone exactly the same amount. By definition you can’t get more “fair” than that!

So what was the problem? Not with the payment, but with what the laborers felt they deserved. And that is why our sense of fairness will always be flawed. We simply do not apply the same standards to ourselves as we do others. We look differently at others than we do ourselves.

One explanation for this discrepancy between how we judge ourselves and how we judge others is that we draw our conclusions about others on the basis of their actions, while viewing ourselves on the basis of our intentions. So when someone else lies, we conclude that she is of course a liar. She probably lies all the time and hardly ever tells the truth. But if I lie, well, there’s a good reason behind it or I didn’t mean to lie, and I most often tell the truth.

When someone else cuts me off in traffic, they’re a bad driver and likely drive that way all the time. But when I do it, it was simply a very rare case, and I probably had a very good reason behind it. Do you see how hard it’s going to be to maintain any sense of fairness when we naturally tend to tip the scale in our own favor? 

How does that higher view of self on our part factor in to the relationship that matters most – our relationship with God? If we refuse to see how skewed our own sense of fairness is, we will always find it unsettling how a gracious, generous God deals with fallen mankind. Even though by definition, grace is God’s undeserved love for sinners, we nonetheless have our own personal ideas about those who are more deserving of that undeserved love than others. Do you see how nonsensical that is? 

It will always be that way to us as long as we insist on viewing man’s relationship with God being based – even the slightest, itty-bittiest bit – on what man is giving instead of entirely on what he is getting. We simply cannot base our relationship with God on what we give to him, even on our best days.

So although we might think that ideal family-man father or the dedicated single mom or the polite, respectable hard-working young adult all have so much going for them that God should take notice and factor that in to his final assessment of who’s in and who’s out, the Bible has plenty to say about thinking we could on our own give anything of worth to God or show ourselves to somehow be more deserving of grace. “All of us have become like one who is unclean, and all our righteous acts are like filthy rags” (Isaiah 64:6).

If you want to offer up your dirty, stinky laundry to God in hopes that it’s not as dirty or stinky as the next person’s, you are welcome to try. But at the end of the day, all you’re still offering is dirty, stinky laundry – nothing that would in any way endear God to you anymore, but would actually leave you worse off! So as much as we might try to polish it up or put on a fresh coat of paint or splash some perfume on it, the best we can offer up to God on our own is still nothing but condemning sin.

No, there is no place for our relationship with God being based on what we give. It can only be based on what we get. And in that sense, God’s fairness is faultless, because he treats everyone the same: his undeserved grace is for everyone – no matter when they show up in the work day. So yes, there is grace enough for the death-bed convert. There is grace enough for the death row inmate. There is grace enough for the top-ten list of all-time most wicked, wretched people in history. There is grace enough for your nasty neighbor. There is grace enough for your racist uncle. There is grace enough for the backsliding Christian. There is grace enough for all… so there is grace enough for you. 

If God wants all people to be saved – and he does, based on his own words repeated again and again in the Bible – then the only way that can happen is if he refuses to base salvation on what we pretend we can give him and insists on being the One who gives it to us. What he gives us – all of us – is unmerited, unwarranted, unconditional, unlimited grace. That’s the only way it can be fair. 

That also explains why God is so persistent and committed to making sure everyone is aware of his grace. Did you count how many times in Jesus’ parable the landowner went out to hire workers for his vineyard? Five times! While the number itself is not significant, the message it sends is clear – God continues to make sure his Word keeps spreading. God continues to make sure the good news reaches every ear. God continues to make sure no one misses out so that no one can say, “No one hired us,” that is, that they didn’t know about Jesus and the radical grace God extends through him.

Let us not forget, we are an important part of that. God gathers his church – believers – and uses us to keep sending out the message that God is hiring. There’s more room in his vineyard, his kingdom. There’s more than enough grace to go around. There is more than enough grace to forgive every sin. There is more work that needs to be done in his kingdom, so let us be about that hiring process and bringing others in so that he can lavish them with the grace he eagerly desires to give out. 

Then, let us rejoice – and not resent – when he does. We want to guard against displaying the attitude of the all-day workers in Jesus’ parable, no matter how long we’ve been in the kingdom. When they received their payment, “they began to grumble against the landowner. ‘These who were hired last worked only one hour,’ they said, ‘and you have made them equal to us who have borne the burden of the work and the heat of the day’” (Mt. 20:11-12).

If their attitude sounds oddly familiar, it might call to mind the attitude of the older brother in the parable of the prodigal son. Just as he resented what he felt was the misdirected forgiveness and compassion of the father to his wayward brother, so those working all day long resented the short-shift workers receiving the same payment as the day-long laborers. If God wants all to experience the full measure of his grace, then let’s throw a celebration every time anyone receives it! 

Because there are still far too many who are outside of the vineyard. Some don’t know about the grace God has in store for them. Others are not interested in the grace God has in store for them. Still others are adamantly opposed to the grace God has in store for them or simply don’t think they need it to manage their way into the vineyard. Whatever the reason, there are still far too many on the outside looking in.

Let’s do what is in our power to do to get them into the vineyard. Let’s tell them the greatest story ever – the reality of the Savior they have in Jesus, a story for all people. Then, let us rejoice – not resent – every single victory that God generously grants through his grace.  

A Quick-to-Forgive Church

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(Genesis 50:15-21)

Joseph’s life has all the makings of an unforgettable revenge story. Jealous brothers plotted his murder. After having tempered their resentment a bit, however, they settled for selling him as a slave instead. Then, despite exceptional performance reviews and a very respectable reputation as a servant in his master’s house, Joseph’s world came crashing down again. He was the victim of vindictive lies and slander that not only ruined his reputation, but landed him in prison. Even in prison, despite his commendable behavior restoring his good name and the assistance he provided to others in his God-given interpretations of their dreams, he was still forgotten and overlooked for a time by those he helped.

Finally, though, the door opened up for him to ascend to the role of the most powerful man in Egypt next to Pharaoh himself! That’s when the opportunity for what surely could have been one of the most memorable stories of revenge presented itself. His brothers found themselves unknowingly in his presence, completely at his mercy while seeking aid for their starving families. Oh, how Joseph could have unleashed his wrath as a result of decades of pent-up spite, bitterness, and resentment! It would have been a story for the ages!

And it was. It still is. But not for the reason we might have expected; not for revenge. Instead, it’s a story for the ages because of something far more powerful than revenge: Joseph’s choice to forgive his brothers. 

As The Church God Wants series wraps up, it shouldn’t surprise us at that God desires that his Church – that believers – be quick to forgive. Forgiveness is both how and why the Church even exists in the first place! The Church is not just the beneficiary of forgiveness, but its executor as well. We receive it and we distribute it. We are filled up with it and we fill others up with it. If there is one thing the Church is to do and be known for, it must always be forgiveness.

Why is that? Because no other group or institution in society bears that responsibility. Your employer is not required to teach or model forgiveness to you. “Forgiveness 101” is not a required course of study in our public schools or higher education institutions. Your kid’s coach or piano teacher is not being paid or volunteering to help your child learn about forgiveness. The government has not established any rules or regulations to foster forgiveness by threat of fine or jail time (which would of course be a bit ironic). Finally, while in many cities you will have no problem finding community centers, homeless shelters, and food pantries, I have yet to hear of anything resembling a “forgiveness facility.” 

You won’t find such things elsewhere because even society – non-believers and believers alike – realizes that forgiveness is really the church’s business. Forgiveness has historically been understood to be the church’s responsibility.

For that reason, those outside the church tend to pay very close attention when those who belong to it – Christians – fail to forgive. Even they recognize that’s what the Church exists to do… even if they don’t fully recognize the how or why, which is of course one and the same: Jesus.

The Church forgives because the Church exists as a result of Jesus’ forgiveness. Remove his perfect life of obedience from the equation and his death on the cross would not have mattered. Take away his death on the cross and the empty tomb would not have been possible. Do away with the empty tomb, leaving a still-dead-today Jesus, and his payment would have been insufficient and death and hell would still reign. 

But, since we have all of those and everything else that we need in Jesus, we have forgiveness. As long as the church has Jesus, she has all she needs to continue as the source of freely-flowing forgiveness. That means we have something both to receive and to give. What is our part in that? Our role involves both hearing and speaking that forgiveness and each case, for various reasons, sometimes that is very difficult and sometimes it comes quite easily.

When it comes to hearing that forgiveness, it can at times be one of the hardest things of all to hear and at other times the sweetest music to our ears. What accounts for the difference? How could forgiveness ever be hard to hear?

When we don’t feel we need it. After all, when a person has “done nothing wrong,” then there’s nothing to forgive. And that would be true… if we could ever actually figure out how to avoid all wrongdoing. Our shortcoming, however, is our failure to see our wrong or identify it as such. If we spent as much time simply owning our sin and confessing it as we do denying it, excusing it, or blaming others for it, then there would be less kicking and screaming and insisting on our innocence and more reconciliation and healing. 

Those are the times when forgiveness is pure music to our ears – when our guilty ears long to hear it and our troubled hearts know we need it. When the law has done its job and exposed me as the fraud I am in so many ways, I am ready to receive the sweet freedom that only the gospel of forgiveness offers. When my stubbornness, my grudge-bearing, my refusal to forgive others, my selfishness, my stinging words, my neglect of God, my reckless spending – when all of this becomes clearly evident and our guilt won’t let go, then we crave the assurance that Jesus gives. Then we soak up his forgiveness. At those times we cannot hear it too much. 

Hearing forgiveness can be hard or easy, depending on how ready our hearts are to receive it. But speaking words of forgiveness can challenge us as well. Sometimes the words are difficult to speak and other times forgiveness seems to ease effortlessly from our lips. Why is that? How could forgiveness ever be hard to speak? When we feel the other person doesn’t deserve it.

But we must stop right there and be very clear about something before we go on. 

It’s only a worldly – and therefore rather limited and virtually impotent – version of forgiveness that attaches any sense of requirement to it. Only the world speaks of forgiveness in terms of the guilty party somehow being deserving enough or sorry enough or pitiful enough for forgiveness. In other words, it’s a limited forgiveness, a conditional one. 

But God’s forgiveness that extends through his Church is not at all like that. It isn’t limited. It isn’t conditional. It isn’t at all dependent on how deserving the recipient may or may not be, because it is entirely grace-based. That means it isn’t ever deserved and cannot ever be earned. So the kind of forgiveness that is withheld because someone has determined the guilty party doesn’t deserve it is not the kind of forgiveness found in the church. 

When we find it difficult to forgive others, it’s because we’re focused on the world’s “forgiveness” and not the Church’s. That happens when we focus on the wrong itself and how awful it was or the wrongdoer himself and how awful he is to have committed it. Where either the gravity of the wrong committed or the degree of wickedness of the wrongdoer himself is the determining factor, forgiveness will always be conditional.

That also means it will be subjective. One person who determines the wrong or the wrongdoer wasn’t really that bad may find it easy to forgive, while another person may struggle mightily with the same sin because of a different personal experience or perception of that sin. So the kind of forgiveness dependent on the gravity of the crime or the wickedness of the perpetrator – a forgiveness not sanctioned in the Bible, by the way – will always be hard to speak. 

Other times, though, words of forgiveness are come easily. When?

When we focus not on the wrongdoer, but on our forgiver, Jesus. Yes, you read that right – when we focus on our forgiver. That is always the best and necessary place to start. I need to put myself at the center of the investigation and lay bare my whole history, my whole track record of sin, remembering all the despicable stuff I’ve done.

Then, when I realize that God has not withheld his forgiveness for any one of my sins, but that Jesus’ blood has covered and washed away every last one, it seems downright laughable that I should stand before someone else and pretend that his wrong is the exception. How absurd that I could accept that my sin should be cancelled but that his sin could not possibly be. Those are the moments when it hits me why Jesus told the story of the unmerciful servant in Matthew 18. He wanted to convict me of how ludicrous it is of me to ever withhold forgiveness from someone else until they _______________ (fill in the blank with any requirement you’d like to attach).

No, forgiveness comes so much more easily when I look first at who has forgiven me. When I see Jesus nailed to the cross, imagining a banner with the words, “Paid in full” over him, I see no ground to stand on where I can withhold Jesus’ same payment from someone else. No matter what they’ve done. No matter how much what they did hurt me. No matter how much ongoing damage it causes me. No matter how much I might still be processing it even years later.

When I let go of the burden of trying to pretend the heavy weight of dispensing forgiveness is mine to bear and instead remember that Jesus already carried that weight and earned my forgiveness, then I can freely and fully forgive others. 

That’s why Joseph wept. He had already forgiven his brothers. But he was finding out how hard it can be for that forgiveness to sink in. He had forgiven his brothers 17 years ago, and here they were still terrified that the real punishment they deserved was going to be be exacted upon them after their dad died and Joseph no longer had to “fake” forgiveness. 

But in place of the retribution his brothers expected, they received reassurance. Instead of demanding restitution from his brothers for all the harm they had done to him, he promised to provide for all their families’ needs. No revenge, just forgiveness in its place. Joseph didn’t dwell on the damage his brothers had done to him, but rather on the good God had worked through him. “But Joseph said to them, ‘Don’t be afraid. Am I in the place of God? You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives. So then, don’t be afraid. I will provide for you and your children.’ And he reassured them and spoke kindly to them” (v.19-21). 

Notice something rather profound in Joseph’s words. He knew full well the responsibility of making sure justice was carried out perfectly was not his, but God’s. “Am I in the place of God,” he asked. Of course not!

However, we are, in a sense, in the place of God today. We are in the place of God when we apply his forgiveness to others who know they need it. We are in the place of God when we withhold that forgiveness from God for those who see no sin in themselves that needs forgiving. God has given that responsibility to his church to forgive, as he has forgiven us. Then alone do we stand in the place of God, as if God himself were the one pronouncing his forgiveness upon a penitent sinner. That is exactly what God wants in us. That is exactly the kind of church God wants – a quick-to-forgive church. May we always be just that, and may others always see that when they look at us. 

A Church Willing to Say Hard Things

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(Galatians 2:11-16)

Your doctor’s office. The boss’s office. Your child’s classroom with the teacher. We don’t typically look forward to being called into any of these places, and with good reason: difficult conversations often follow. Getting called for a consult with your doctor after a recent appointment can mean he has bad news. The boss probably isn’t calling you in to praise or commend you, but to correct or discipline you. Your child’s teacher is not likely in just meeting with you to tell you what a great job junior is doing, but probably to share some concerns. Those can be hard conversations.

Like it or not (most often not!), there is also a place for hard conversations within the church. In fact, that is the kind of church that God wants – one that is willing to say hard things. What exactly does that mean and how do we carry it out?

First of all, realize the reason the church will always need to say hard things, which is sometimes forgotten: every church has in common that it is made up of sinners. That seems like it should go without saying, but sometimes we either get the idea or give others the impression that belonging to a church means we’ve somehow figured out the secret sauce to sinlessness. All the “mostly-good” people gather at church while the “not-so-good” folks out there sin rather nonchalantly as they go about their daily business.

“Sure, we might commit a few minor whoopsies on occasion, but nothing like those major whoppers everyone out there is committing left and right.” But, deny it as much as you will, the hard truth is that the ugly sinful nature that is still a part of each one of us is just as capable of carrying out the ugly sinful stuff we see in the world. So what sets us apart is not primarily the absence of sin in our lives, but the presence of the Savior who forgives it. That is why we gather as the church. 

And it is that Savior and his gospel – the good news of what he’s done for sinners – that both requires us and inspires us to say hard things. When we are discussing hard matters with fellow Christians, we do so in a safe space, because we do so in a space saturated with the gospel. When the gospel as a safety-net beneath us, we have no reason to fear having difficult or even uncomfortable conversations. We have every right to assume that our faith family cares enough about our souls to prioritize those conversations. And we can both speak and hear these hard things because we know that they are gospel-driven and gospel-guided in an effort to be gospel-guarding. That means we can check individual agendas or bones to pick at the door and stay focused on how we can apply the gospel to help God’s church thrive. 

So what exactly are the kinds of hard things that the church needs to say? We see an example in Galatians. Paul was compelled to say a hard thing, and he didn’t shy away from explaining why it had to happen: “they were not acting in line with the truth of the gospel” (v.14).

The very gospel was at stake! The message on which the church stands or falls was being compromised. When Paul saw that the gospel was in jeopardy, there was no question – he knew he had to speak up and say a hard thing.

While that reason alone (the gospel coming under attack) is sufficient for speaking up, Paul went a step further to explain what the collateral damage is when the truth of the gospel is at stake: souls are at stake, too.

As much as Paul and Peter (Cephas) were both pillars of the early church, Paul showed his personal care for his brother’s soul. “When Cephas came to Antioch, I opposed him to his face, because he stood condemned” (v.11). Paul wasn’t mincing words – if he didn’t address the situation, Peter’s actions could very well have led to his spiritual downfall. 

Do we forget that sin has the potential for doing so much more damage than just a little wrong here or there? We need to think of sin not like that little bit of a beverage that spilled on the counter top and can so easily be wiped up, but more like a semi tanker toppling over and spilling toxic liquid everywhere. Sin doesn’t wish to be contained. It wants to expand its reach until it contaminates everything around it, eventually rendering even faith itself ineffective. Paul had to speak the hard truth to Peter, because he was more concerned about Peter’s salvation than about Peter’s reputation. 

As an example of sin extending its reach to others, Paul recognized how Peter’s sinful actions were influencing those around him. “The other Jews joined him in his hypocrisy, so that by their hypocrisy even Barnabas was led astray” (v13). Others viewed Peter’s actions as thumbs up to follow his example, and their collective example then carried enough weight to cause even Barnabas to stumble. See how large the radius of sin’s reach was becoming! Paul had to speak the hard truth to Peter, because he was concerned about the impact his actions were having on the salvation of others. 

How do Paul’s actions relate to us in 2023? Does the church today still need to say hard things? Absolutely. When? What does that look like? As the gospel itself compels us to say hard things, how do we know when those hard conversations need to happen? While there’s no guarantee that saying the hard things will ever be easy, there are a number of things we can consider to guide us in this process. 

First of all, we want to make sure the situation legitimately calls for the hard truth to be spoken. Not every difference or disagreement merits this kind of attention. If we are in the realm of Christian freedom and personal preference, while there certainly may be some discussion around those matters, those aren’t usually the kind that call for a rebuke or a call to repentance. Whether we should have tri-tip or hotdogs for the barbecue does not merit any sort of confrontation. Attending Christmas Eve or Christmas Day worship does not require a rebuke. 

So what sort of criteria does? We look for anyone or anything that might either gloss over the gospel or cast aside the cross by insisting that someone or something else be the central focus. When the gospel is at stake, the church has an obligation to say hard things, because where the gospel is compromised, so is the church. Where the gospel is lost, so is the church. 

Once we are certain of the gravity of the matter, that it is in fact that serious and does require the tough conversation, we do well do run another quick assessment. We want to check our own heart. We might have correctly spotted the need to say a hard word, but we also better make sure that our heart is in the right place to initiae the conversation.

That means it isn’t looking to relish the opportunity to lay into someone else who rubs me the wrong way. That means my heart isn’t approaching this conversation as a means to bump itself up another notch closer to heaven and come away looking more favorable. That means my heart isn’t seizing this as merely a distraction from some personal repair work that needs to be done on me. If any of those things are going on in your own heart, then you’re not the right person to be saying the hard thing.

Another thing to consider: if speaking about spiritual/faith matters and matters of the heart is not normal for you, consider how it might come across to someone else who is not use to hearing you speak about such things. It could possibly cause unecessary confusion if you appear to be bringing it up seemingly out of nowhere.

The wife who has never watched a down of the NFL in her life might leave her husband feeling a little skeptical when she starts making suggestions for his fantasy football draft. A husband who doesn’t realize that Versace isn’t the name of a new Italian restaurant in town is probably going to see a puzzled look from his wife when he starts discussing fashion trends.

So if spiritual matters are not a regular part of your conversation, it might unnecessarily catch someone off guard to hear you speak up with a hard saying. The solution to that is not just to write off ever discussing hard things, but rather to take some baby steps in the direction of making your faith in Jesus perhaps a more natural part of your conversations. 

Finally, Paul spells out in a lengthier description why it matters that we contend for the gospel. “[We] know that a person is not justified by the works of the law, but by faith in Jesus Christ. So we, too, have put our faith in Christ Jesus that we may be justified by faith in Christ and not by the works of the law, because by the works of the law no one will be justified” (v.16). Peter was confusing the good news of the gospel. He was combining a message that is believed for salvation with works that must also be achieved for salvation. To that message of being declared not guilty (“justified”), Peter was adding the need to make sure he stuck with the kosher diet and sat at the right table apart from the Gentiles.

Since he had known previously that his place in heaven had nothing to do with what he ate or where he sat here on earth, it was causing a stumbling block for those around him to suddenly see him revert back to his old Jewish customs. 

When a brother or sister in Christ confuses the gospel in any way at all to imply that any work or effort must accompany the saving work of Jesus’ perfect life, suffering, and death, we have to speak up. We have to have a hard conversation. Their soul depends on it. Other souls will likely also depend on it. The gospel must win, and that means guarding it at all cost.

That’s the church God wants. For that reason, it’s also the church we want to be.

A Self< Church

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(Matthew 16:21-26)

The boss just laid out the plan for the next project at work. The goal was clearly communicated and comprehended so that everyone knew what they were trying to accomplish. All departments understood their specific roles in the project. Each individual team member was provided with the direction needed to help their department succeed and contribute toward achieving success in the specific effort. So it came as a bit of a shock when, after the boss had finished his presentation, one particular employee stood up and simply said, “Yeah, we’re not going to be doing this. This isn’t going to happen. Not on my watch.”

How long do you suppose that employee would remain with the company? Not long at all!

Jesus could have done much more than just fire Peter for his defiant remark. In his Gospel account of the incident, Matthew records for us what had caused Peter to feel compelled to take Jesus to task: “From that time on Jesus began to explain to his disciples that he must go to Jerusalem and suffer many things at the hands of the elders, the chief priests and the teachers of the law, and that he must be killed and on the third day be raised to life” (v.21).

Peter had only a short time ago confessed that he knew Jesus was the One, the Messiah that God had promised repeatedly throughout history. However, Jesus’ explanation of how he would be carrying out his work didn’t align with the political aspirations Peter had for the Messiah. As Peter saw it, Jesus’ suffering and death were not part of his plan, so he had to take drastic measures. “Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him. ‘Never, Lord!’ he said. ‘This shall never happen to you!’” (v.22). 

We’re quite used to Peter putting his foot in his mouth. It’s easy to understand why he wouldn’t want to stand by and approve of a plan that involved the suffering and death of his Jesus. He had a heart, after all. He cared about Jesus.

But his objection was actually much more selfish – sinister even. In fact, as Jesus’ response indicated, it was downright satanic. “Jesus turned and said to Peter, ‘Get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to me; you do not have in mind the concerns of God, but merely human concerns’” (v.23).     

Whoa! Isn’t that going a bit farther than necessary? Is Jesus doing one of those hyperbole things where he uses an over-the-top extreme to make his point? You hear people joke about temptation from others (“C’mon, just have one more piece of dessert – it’s sooooooo good!”) with a, “Get behind me, Satan,” but Jesus was not at all joking. He was deadly serious. 

Because so is Satan. Peter’s rebuttal to Jesus’ teaching was not just a matter of misguided concern a guy had for his friend. It wasn’t because he had a better plan in mind (as if there could have been one!). Rather, it was an attempt on the part of Satan to thwart God’s plan of salvation. 

Jesus had made it clear that these things (his suffering, death, and resurrection) “must” (v.21) happen. They had to. This was the plan God had in mind to carry out the substitutionary work salvation required. The perfect Lamb, Jesus Christ, had to be offered up as the only sacrifice that could serve as payment for sin. Jesus had to suffer and die. “It must be this way,” he told his disciples. 

So also today, anything that opposes the good news of the gospel – anything at all – comes from the evil one. There is no harmless indifference to the gospel. There are no alternative plans or paths that might work out. There are no religions or false gods that could provide forgiveness and eternal life. There was and there is no other way to a right relationship with God than through the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus. Anything else – anything at all – comes from the evil one.

The scariest part of all of this? Look what drove Peter’s objection: “human concerns.” It wasn’t some deep theological truth that Peter had uncovered that prompted him to rebuke Jesus; it was his own ideas about who Jesus was supposed to be and how he was supposed to proceed.

Peter wasn’t concerned about God’s plans. Peter wasn’t concerned about Jesus’ plans. Peter wasn’t concerned about the other disciples’ plans. No, Peter was concerned about Peter’s plans, and Peter’s plans only. 

Does that same selfish concern that each and every one of us is capable of help you grasp why Jesus explained discipleship the way he did? “Then Jesus said to his disciples, ‘Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me’” (v.24). “You want to be my disciple? You want to follow me? OK, first things, first, we have to get you out of the way. We have to get self out of the picture, or he’ll only serve to provide a platform for the devil to go to work. And the only way to do that is for you to deny the most difficult person on the planet to deny: yourself.” 

I was recently reminded of why this is the most challenging thing of all for us to do by a quote from a little book, What’s Big Starts Small. In it, the author warns about why pride can be so destructive to the growth of our faith. He writes, “But pride offers an objection that makes you the exception” (p.42). That is just another way of saying that self is an expert at pretending it has permission for whatever it wants. “What is wrong for you is clear as day, but here’s why it isn’t wrong when I do it.” 

“Yes, I got a little angry and lost control, but it was justifiable in light of what the other person did.” “Of course the stay-at-home mom shouldn’t be drinking excessively during the day and putting her kids at risk, but my job is 100 times more stressful and a few drinks every night help me relax.” “There is no reason for a guy to ever push a girl around, but our relationship is different and her level of disrespect is unacceptable.” “Blatantly walking a full cart out of the store without paying is one thing, but what I’m skimming from the register is just enough to get me by until things get better and of course I’ll pay it all back.”

Pride – self – makes me the exception. It does the same for you. That’s why Jesus says we must deny it and let it die. “For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it” (v.25). 

But what about the risk of not looking out for ourselves? If we don’t, who else will? How can we be sure that this practice of denying self is going to work out in the end? If we don’t advocate for ourselves, who else will?

I think you know the answer, but let me try to state it a little bit differently than you’re probably used to hearing it. Here is the bottom line: You cannot care about yourself more than Jesus does.

You cannot care about yourself more than Jesus does.

Do you understand? No matter how much you want to buy into the world’s emphasis on the importance of self-care and self-image and self-love and self-esteem and self-discovery and self… etc. – all of that put together into perfect practice will never amount to caring about yourself more than Jesus does. 

If that were not true, it would have been you on the cross and not him.

If that were not true, it would have been you condemned for your sin instead of him.

If that were not true, he would have allowed you to be abandoned and forsaken by the Father and not him.

But since he bore all of that on himself for you, let there never be any doubt that no one ever has and no one ever will care more about you than Jesus. 

So let go of the lie and live free. Shut out the internal pleas to serve self first and everyone else second. Jesus has you covered and now he wants to use you to help make sure everyone else knows they’re covered by him, too.

When we deny self, when we set down self, instead of dragging that care and concern with us wherever we go, then we’ve got free hands. With those hands, we find it much easier to pick up the crosses that are all around us. 

The cross of patient sacrifice in your strained marriage to a demanding spouse is much lighter when you set down self. The cross that comes in the shape of the extra workload you carry at work for the demeaning co-worker who doesn’t miss the opportunity to poke fun at your faith here and there. The cross of confusion over why God continues to permit the chronic pain that you’ve dealt with for years. The cross of abuse and its long-term effects. The cross of addiction that lingers despite the overall progress. The cross of family members struggling with identity and sexuality.

These crosses are not light, to be sure, but we are able to bear them much more effectively when we aren’t also carrying around the weight of self. 

And, we are able to bear them much more effectively when we realize we never bear them alone. We can be confident of this because we know Jesus’ own answer to his rhetorical question at the close of these verses. Jesus asked, “Or what can anyone give in exchange for their soul?” (v.26). Our answer, everyone’s answer, is of course, “Nothing.”

Jesus, though, has a different answer: “Everything.” He literally gave up everything for our souls. “For you know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though he was rich, yet for your sake he became poor, so that you through his poverty might become rich” (2 Corinthians 8:9). Only One perfectly denied self. Only One perfectly lost his life. Only Jesus, and Jesus alone is our hope. 

Are you worried about what will happen if you cast off the perceived need to look out for yourself above all else? Worry not, for as much as your old self lies to you about looking out for number one, here is the truth we must remember: You cannot possibly care about yourself more than Jesus does. If that, dear friends, is true – and it absolutely is – then you are freed from yourself. Jesus has you covered. Go and be the church he wants, the self< church.