Who is it for you? An organization or a cause? A political candidate or political party? When you know the topic is love, you already know there isn’t going to be some profound revelation or new discovery regarding what the Bible has to say about love. It’s simple. Love God. Love others. Why? Because God loves you. There’s no way around it, and that will be the same message about love that you will hear from the Bible as long as you keep on reading it, listening to it, and studying it.
But it would be quite naive of us to think that just because we know what the Bible tells us about loving others that we would somehow arrive at a point when we wouldn’t need to hear it again. By that line of reasoning, a parent should only have to tell a child to go to bed at bedtime once and it should never be an issue again, right? At most, none of us should ever get more than one speeding ticket, if that, because once the officer informs us that we’re breaking the law when we exceed the speed limit, it shouldn’t happen again once we have that information. If doing what we’re supposed to do was merely a matter of information, then life would be a piece of cake!
Ah, if only it were that simple. But loving others isn’t merely a matter of transferring information; it’s a matter of transformation. If we are to carry out the kind of love God calls us to, a pretty monumental change has to take place. Where? In us.
We actually do know how to love. That isn’t the problem. We’re actually really good at it naturally. The problem just happens to be where our love is directed. I love me. And you love you. And everything in our own little personal bubbles essentially revolves around that. So if I am instead going to redirect that love toward others, as God would have me do, well, that’s unnatural. So something has to change. Something supernatural.
That’s really the message we need to keep hearing, and John repeats it for us. “God is love. This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another” (v.8-11). It isn’t likely new news to anyone reading this that God is love. We’ve all heard it before. We’ve seen it on wall art or displayed on the back of the car in front of us or any number or places. But for those three words to hit home, we have to personally apply them. That God who is love doesn’t just love everyone; he loves me.
Me who knows what it’s like to feel unappreciated and unloved… by my own parents. Or my children. By my supposedly close friend. By my own family. By my coworkers or classmates. By my teacher. By my coach. By my spouse. By my boss. We all have our own list, which may change for us in different seasons of life, but we all know too well, whether it’s reality or our perception, what it’s like to feel unloved.
And these words from John remind us that that feeling is never actually reliable, because the “God-is-love” God is the God who loves me. And you. And always will.
What makes this love difficult for us to embrace and accept is that deep down inside, we know how undeserving we are of it. We have a pretty good of how many daily reasons we give for God not to love us – through our thoughts, works, and actions. Verse twenty hits just one of them, and there are so many more. John warned, “Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen” (v.20). I might think “hate” to be too strong a word to describe me, but John expands it to include any failure of loving our brother or sister, or anyone for that matter. As if that wasn’t bad enough, it makes us out to be liars to claim to love God while loathing someone else.
And you’ll notice there are no disclaimers or allowances or exceptions. God doesn’t say we’re off the hook if it’s someone who is really hard to love. Or someone who posted something nasty online about you or someone you care about. Or someone who stole from you. Or even if it’s someone who has really hurt us or traumatized us or messed with our heads and hearts.
There are no love loopholes. We are called to embody Jesus’ perfect love to all people. And we don’t. And our guilty consciences tell us what we deserve when we don’t.
The awareness of this guilt is evident to me as a pastor. One of the most common fears people share with me is wondering where they really stand before God because of a person or relationship they can’t bring themselves to love. Or, they agonize over how much of a struggle it is. So yes, our own consciences convict us of not loving others perfectly or completely.
And if we have somehow managed to fleece or foil our own conscience into thinking that we have no problem loving others, God’s Word makes clear what the consequence is for anything less than 100% complete and total love for others. Just one chapter earlier in this very letter John wrote, “Anyone who hates a brother or sister is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life residing in him” (1 John 3:15). There’s no way around it – we know what even our lukewarm love deserves!
Yet… still God loves us!
How can we know? That’s the part of John’s description we must never tire of hearing. “This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins” (v.10). God’s Son was not sent into this world only for those who love well, not for those whose love has never faltered, and not even for those who are pretty convinced their love for God meets his expectations. If those were the type of people God had sent his Son into the world for, he would have come up empty-handed. No such person has ever existed. No, Jesus came into this world to render the payment necessary for the pervasive lack of love.
Jesus offered up himself as the atoning sacrifice for our sins, including but not limited to our lack of love. Jesus has restored our relationship with God that had been totaled by our sin and he has shown us what sacrificial love in action looks like. His love for others – for you and me and all people – was not deterred by selfishness or self-love. He loved – and loves – perfectly.
He loved you by never faltering in the face of temptation. He loved you by loving his enemies perfectly in your place. He loved you not just with words and speech about loving his neighbors, but by showing them in so often meeting their physical needs and healing their hurts. He loved you all the way to the cross and out of the empty tomb. The Resurrection reality is that in Jesus Christ we not only see what real love looks like; we also see that real love is ours. That real love is for us.
So, we can now love others, too.
Why does it matter so much that we pour ourselves into loving others? So that others may come to know the source of that love. “Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God” (v.7).
Yes, God is love. You know that. I know that. Others may have heard the phrase, but they don’t know what we’ve just been talking about. They don’t know that kind of radical love. In his Gospel and all of his letters in the Bible, John more than any other writer stresses how important it is for us as Christians to love – so that the source of love can be made known. So that others, through our love, would come to know the One from whom it all emanates: God their Savior.
Without knowing that kind of love, the world’s understanding and definition of love is really quite pitiful. Somebody suggests a fun activity together and we’d love to. We love this place or that place to eat. We’re in love with this store or that style. We love your outfit. We love it when that happens. We love that book/movie/song/etc. We love so many things so much that we’ve diluted love altogether to essentially strip it of any real meaning.
So let’s show a better love. A real love. Let’s love the erratic driver with a prayer for him. Let’s love the protestor who cares enough about a cause to do something instead of just spewing snarky words from behind a screen or behind closed doors. Let’s love the walker or hiker with the never-ending stories by taking the time just to listen to them on occasion. Let’s love the neighbor whose language and customs and culture are so different from ours. Let’s, even after a drama-filled, mentally and emotionally exhausting day ourselves, love our children with the gift of time together. Let’s love our spouse with more yeses and fewer excuses. Let’s love our coworker by letting them receive the praise for the project. Let’s love the addict by trying to better understand what his world is like. Let’s love by offering the ride even when it is utterly inconvenient. Let’s love by opening our home more often for meals with others.
When we love in these ways and so many others, we take the world’s diluted love and saturate it, making it something special. When we love in these ways we demonstrate another kind of love that only finds its source in Jesus. And our prayer – and God’s intent – is that through our love others would eventually be channeled to the source of that excellent love that we find only in Christ.
Then, like dominoes, Christ’s love begins to flow through their lives as well. Secured with the gifts of peace, joy, forgiveness, and the assurance of eternal life, they are free to love others, too. And the cycle continues, always seeing love draw others to Christ like a magnet, to show them a radical love that lasts into eternity. Not like the best kind of love the world could ever offer, but far better: real love.