She knows he’s the one. Handsome, witty, intelligent – he had all the characteristics she wanted in a guy. There was just one problem: he doesn’t know she exists. You know how the rest of the plot line plays out. She enlists the help of her friend or group of girlfriends to hatch an elaborate plan to get the attention of her crush. The audience of course knows that it will end up in some embarrassingly funny scenario in which she does in fact win the desired attention, but for all the wrong reasons. She usually ends up mortified and from that point on has to work even harder to overcome that negative experience. All she wanted was to get noticed by her crush.
From childhood on up well into adulthood, that about sums it up, doesn’t it – we’re all trying to get noticed. The attention-craving toddler finds just about any reason to perform even the most menial task as if it were some monumental feat, directing mom or dad to “Look at me!” From adolescence into the teenage years, sports or studies become more than just a rite of passage, but a possible pathway to getting noticed by a coach or college. Then the next stage kicks in as we learn to navigate the ins and outs of creating an online presence through social media and other platforms to get noticed. It continues as we throw ourselves into our work and up our efforts in the dating scene. We simply want to get noticed.
The Pharisees at Jesus’ dinner party could relate. They wanted to get noticed. Jesus observed that as they arrived and readied themselves for the meal they “picked the places of honor at the table” (v.7). Depending on how many guests there were and how the tables they reclined at were arranged, the places of honor at such a dinner party would have been slightly different. Rest assured though, anyone prestigious enough to have been invited to the party of a “prominent Pharisee” knew full well where the good spots were. They knew that such spots not only communicated the political pecking order to the other guests at the party, but that the places of honor also afforded extra opportunity to rub elbows with the host and impress him with their views and ideas.
It’s what the Pharisees were known for: being known. In that respect, they were not unlike modern-day influencers who are only popular because they’re known, and they’re only known for being popular – not because of some meaningful contribution to society. In the same way, the Pharisees wanted to get noticed.
They got what they wanted: Jesus noticed them. But beware! When Jesus uses you for a spiritual illustration to serve as a spiritual warning, that’s probably not the way a person wants to get noticed!
We want to make sure we do not miss the point here. Realize what is happening. Jesus isn’t merely addressing a social custom of the day as a means to simply reform our behavior. We cannot, as so many do with Christianity, demean Jesus by equating him with the headmaster at some finishing school, as if his greatest concern is that his followers learn proper etiquette and behave in a civilized manner in social settings.
On this occasion, Jesus’ primary goal was not to teach the Pharisees that they should be more humble. How can we be sure? Because even as we work toward being more humble in this life, and even as God blesses us with progress in this life, will our eternal outcome be any more secure if you are a much more humble person five years from now?
No, absolutely not – being more humble won’t have any bearing whatsoever on your eternity! The very fact that we know there is room for us to be more humble already shows that we’ve missed the perfect mark required for heaven! So Jesus is focused on much more than just squeezing more humility out of us for our time here on earth.
Jesus’ concern – even when he personally met and addressed physical needs – was always primarily spiritual. He was concerned with the Kingdom of God, not the kingdoms of this world. He is concerned about our beliefs – not just our behavior.
That is shown by his use of this opportunity to speak a parable, which you may remember has a very specific purpose – a spiritual one, not a social one. He uses this worldly, temporal occasion as an example to spring into a heavenly, eternal truth. “When someone invites you to a wedding feast, do not take the place of honor, for a person more distinguished than you may have been invited. If so, the host who invited both of you will come and say to you, ‘Give this person your seat.’ Then, humiliated, you will have to take the least important place. But when you are invited, take the lowest place, so that when your host comes, he will say to you, ‘Friend, move up to a better place.’ Then you will be honored in the presence of all the other guests. For all those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.” (v. 8-11).
The setting is slightly different in Jesus’ parable – not just a dinner party, but a wedding banquet. Jesus used a wedding banquet quite regularly in his teaching to depict heaven. So no, Jesus isn’t just using another social setting to teach the Pharisees how better to behave next time, but is making it clear in his parable that he is talking about our place in heaven. Anyone convinced that his ticket to heaven is punched on the basis of his own worth or merit will find himself humbled. No one gets into heaven by being religious enough, righteous enough, or respected enough.
This hard truth may sound very similar to the previous one, and there is indeed a very close relationship between the first and last and the humbled and exalted. It might help to point out a slight distinction in emphasis. The emphasis then was that Jesus is the only way into heaven; the emphasis here is that we aren’t. In this parable, Jesus is saying to you and to me and to a world focused on getting noticed, that we better be aware that in heaven, there are no seats reserved for those who think they’re deserved.
If Jesus is hitting on such a key spiritual truth here, then why, after his parable concludes, does he emphasize the importance of exercising humility here on earth by turning to the party host and encouraging him, “When you give a luncheon or dinner, do not invite your friends, your brothers or sisters, your relatives, or your rich neighbors; if you do, they may invite you back and so you will be repaid. But when you give a banquet, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind, and you will be blessed. Although they cannot repay you, you will be repaid at the resurrection of the righteous” (v. 12-14). Why does Jesus again shift from the spiritual, eternal truth, back to the physical, practical application? Because what we believe and how we live are very closely connected to each other.
The way we treat other people is a reflection of three things: our view of God, our view of self, and our view of others. When I am finding myself concerned with getting noticed, with others taking note of me, isn’t that a reflection of a pretty high view of self, that there is something in me that surely others don’t want to miss? And if I am seeking to direct their attention to me instead of whatever they think is important, what am I saying about their views or opinions – and by extension, them? Obviously, we don’t think very highly of them if we think they should be more focused on us! And what of God? Well, sure, the Bible can talk about God’s undeserved, unconditional, forgiving grace and love for me, but honestly, how much do we truly value that right here and now if we’re looking for something more elsewhere?
How I live and what I believe are far more closely related than we think. And the more I seek to exalt myself during my time here on earth before others and even dismiss God’s opinion of me as not all that important, do I really think that when I am faced with the reality of heaven, I’ll just be able to flip on the humble switch and set aside this yearning to get noticed that I have fed and fueled my whole life? See how dangerous it is?!?
So Jesus says to put into practice now what we truly know and believe about heaven: we’re undeserving. That frees us up to serve others – no matter their status – before ourselves. And even though Jesus promised blessing when we do that, when we remember “the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind,” that blessing isn’t guaranteed this side of heaven, but is promised to be repaid on the other side of it, after we are all resurrected in Christ.
You want to get noticed? You already are. You already are noticed – and have been – by the One whose opinion of you matters the most. What the Lord said to the prophet Jeremiah when he called him can be applied to each of us as well: “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart” (1:5). He chose us, not because of who we were, but because of who he was and is, and because of what he wanted to make us: his. You are noticed, you are treasured in a way and to a degree that can never be matched by a crush, a parent, a boss, or anyone else. When you remember that, guess where that leaves you? In a place we call humility. Better yet, guess where that leaves you with Jesus? Exalted.