Tag: paradox

Loving Hate

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(Luke 6:27-38)

We’re conflicted, aren’t we? A tension exists between two desires that many of us have: we want to fit in, but we also want to stand out. Sociologically speaking, we want to be a part of a group rather than be isolated or lonely or the odd person out. We don’t want to be on the outside looking in. So we have different group dynamics that help to meet that need. It might be our nuclear family. It might be a gaming group or online community. It might be a group that enjoys a shared interest or hobby. We want to fit in.

Yet within that group, there can be a desire to stand out. We don’t want to be just cookie-cutter copies of everyone else. We want to be somewhat different, an individual. We want others to take notice so that we aren’t just lost in the crowd of our particular group. We might want to stand out by being the best. We might have some odd or quirky contribution for which we become known. That’s our thing. It’s what makes us stand out.

For those wanting to stand out, look no further than Jesus’ words today. How do you stand out? Let Jesus tell you again: “But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. If someone slaps you on one cheek, turn to them the other also. If someone takes your coat, do not withhold your shirt from them. Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. Do to others as you would have them do to you” (v.27-31). There you have it. There are plenty of ways for you to stand out.

But it’s easier to just fit in with the rest of the world, isn’t it? And for those not interested in standing out, Jesus also laid out how you can easily continue to just fit in with the rest of the world. “If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them. And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners do that. And if you lend to those from whom you expect repayment, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, expecting to be repaid in full” (v.32-34). If we summed up these words, it might be to say simply that we fit in with the rest of the world when we are kind to those we feel deserve it. If others are kind to us and treat us well, then we are kind to them and treat them well. You scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours, and we’ll all get along just fine in the world. 

Sounds good in theory, doesn’t it? But look around in the world today and ask how well that appears to be working out. If the criteria upon which we base our decision to be kind to others is whether or not they’re kind to us, then everything already starts to fall apart the very first time someone is unkind. If someone is unkind to me and I fail to show love to him because of it, now what happens when a third party unfamiliar with the situation sees me being unkind to that person? Now they have a reason not to show me love, and so on and so forth, until everything inevitably snowballs into a world devoid of kindness. What ends up happening then is that we aren’t looking for people to love; we’re looking for reasons not to love people. And frankly, we don’t have to look very hard, do we? Just like that, following the “be good only to those who are good to you” principle, we have a very badly broken world. 

And the real underlying problem is this: if I am using others’ treatment of me as the determining factor for whether I will show them love or not, then who is fixing me? If the behavior of others is the only concern guiding my decision to love others or not, then I have blinders on regarding my own behavior. I am not dealing with me. I am by default always saying that any love the world expects to see from me will always and only depend on if the world loves me first. If I get love from the world, then I’ll show love to the world. 

Stop right there and consider a most terrifying thought. What if Jesus had entered into our world determined to lead his life governed by that approach? “If I get love from the world, then I’ll show love to the world. If Jesus had decided to love only those who loved him, no one ever would have experienced Jesus’ love! No one would have been on the healing side of his miraculous touch. The 5,000 would have departed with empty stomachs. There would have been no good news delivered on the hillsides, the seasides, or in the synagogues. There would have been no cross or empty tomb. There would have been none of it had Jesus chosen to show love to the world only if he had received it first, because he never would have received it first. And had that been the case, everyone’s ticket for eternity would have been stamped for the same destination: damnation.

If there was ever going to be any love between God and men, God had to be the one to initiate it, because his enemies – you and me – were not interested. St. John reminds us, “We love because he first loved us” (1 John 4:19). Jesus did not come into the world waiting to receive love before he dished it out; rather, he came into the world to love the loveless, to love everyone who by nature hated him, to love you and me. And Paul describes that love, pointing out how radically different Jesus’ approach was. Jesus didn’t extend love only to those who loved him first. Jesus didn’t base his treatment of others on their treatment of him. Quite the opposite. “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8). Jesus didn’t wait for the world’s love; rather, he loved his enemies first. 

You think these words from Jesus are hard? Tell Jesus something he doesn’t know! Can we really take issue with how challenging Jesus’ call to love enemies really is when he knows from experience exactly what that entails? When you are caught up in how impossible it is to carry out these words of Jesus this morning, stop and reframe them. 

See, when we hear or read these verses from Jesus, we automatically place ourselves in the role of “good guys” having to exercise all of these daunting actions toward the “bad guys.” But these words will take on a whole new meaning for you when you first hear them the way they need to be heard: seeing yourself in the role of the “bad guy,” or enemy, or the one who hates, or the one who curses, or the one who mistreats, slaps, steals. That’s your role and my role! That’s an accurate depiction of how we daily treat Jesus in our rebellious sin. With that understanding in mind, give thought to how you would treat you when acting that way. Would you have as much patience, understanding, compassion, mercy, forgiveness, etc. with you as you expect others to have with you? Absolutely not!

But Jesus did. And that’s what makes Jesus special. Miracles wow. Wise sayings amaze. Even his death and resurrection are astounding. But can anything top that these verses capture perfectly how Jesus chose to deal with us? Now that is astonishing!

And absolutely necessary, if we are to find any hope at all for being able to live out any of these hard sayings of Jesus, if we are to carry out the paradoxical charge to love haters. Jesus acknowledged that it isn’t easy. Easy is loving those who love you. That’s easy. But he rightly points out that anyone can do that, so it makes you no different than the unbelieving world. 

Jesus, though, didn’t save you and set you apart to blend in with the world, but to stand out so that he might use you to draw others in. Stand out to draw others in. And do it by loving others. Everyone.

Do you know why it’s so important that you stand out in the world? It’s because God made you stand out. He saved you. He made you his. He promises you heaven. You stand out, but if you look and act and speak and behave exactly like the rest of the world, then you hide what he’s done for you. How will others ever know what God has done for you if you blend in? Stand out to draw others in. Otherwise they will glance right past you and not even know what they missed. 

Billy Graham liked to tell a story of something that happened to him, early in his ministry. He had just arrived in a small town, having been invited to preach at an evening revival service. Graham had a few letters to mail, so he asked a young boy if he could tell him the way to the post office. The boy gave him directions, he thanked him and turned away — but then, on impulse, he turned back to the boy and said, “If you’ll come to church this evening, you can hear me telling everyone how to get to heaven.” “I don’t think I’ll be there,” said the boy. “You don’t even know the way to the post office.” If people fail to see that Christians don’t know the way to love radically, then why would they think Christianity is the way? Why would they consider Christ if Christ’s followers show the same lovelessness, impatience, self-righteousness, judgment, spite, bitterness, etc. that is the norm for the world? Why would they ever think twice about asking or exploring what is different about you if they don’t notice anything different about you? 

Love others. Love everyone. Even the haters. Instead of throwing all of your energy into lamenting how rough we have it as Christians at the next persecution pity party, discuss how you could show love to those making your life so miserable. Instead of the disgusted eye roll the next time you hear of or interact with someone openly broadcasting their recent decision about their gender or identity, love them by listening to better understand them, remembering that they are in fact a human being. Instead of allowing your own pride to continue standing in the way of improving a strained or non-existent relationship with a friend or family member, swallow your pride and love them by gently and patiently bending over backward to meet them wherever they’re at, again and again, if necessary. The next time you’re struggling to love someone else in the way that person needs loving, ask yourself if Jesus would have withheld his love from you if you were in their shoes. And then immediately give thanks because you know he didn’t. He wouldn’t. Know that it is 100% possible to love your enemies. After all, Jesus loved you, didn’t he? And it changed your eternity. Love your enemies and take what could be the first step in changing their eternity, too.

Strong Weakness

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(2 Corinthians 12:7b-10)

The retail store flyer advertises, “The more you spend, the more you save.”  Oscar Wilde wrote that life was much too important to be taken seriously. In the song Hotel California, Don Henley laments “You can check out, but you can never leave.” These paradoxes serve to emphasize an important opinion or truth by stating what appears to be a contradiction. If a person is spending more money, then she is saving less, not more. If life is important, then it ought to be taken seriously. You don’t check out of a hotel unless you are leaving. Yet upon further reflection, we understand the point being emphasized. 

For these final three Sundays of this season of Epiphany, we will see several paradoxes in Scripture: strong weakness, loving hate, and visibly hidden. The intent is not to leave us confused or confounded, but rather comforted and confident, as powerful spiritual truths deepen our appreciation of and our connection to our Savior. Today we want to revisit – and if needed, rewrite – our understanding of what it truly means to be strong.

Our American view of strength has shifted somewhat in recent years, which in some ways is definitely for the better. We can much more openly discuss the matter of people’s emotional health without immediately viewing it as a weakness. In the past an Olympic athlete would not have considered pulling out of an event for anything other than a legitimate physical injury – to do so would have been viewed as being weak. At last summer’s Olympics however, a world-class gymnast was praised for being brave and strong for pulling out of an event because of concerns of emotional health. And in the past, victims of physical or sexual abuse were expected to stay silent; but today they are rightly encouraged and emboldened to be strong and speak up.

Yet the underlying problem remains nonetheless when it comes to the world’s view of strength because the world’s source of strength is the same: self. And no matter how much mankind progresses, we’ll never reach a level of advancement that can escape this reality: when self is the source of strength, it will eventually crumble.

Adam & Eve relied on their own strength and stumbled tragically. Sin has seen to it that the same result will inevitably play out every time we rely on self for strength. A husband and wife who rely on self for strength in their marriage are stacking the deck against themselves. The saint who leans on self for strength in the face of temptation is poised for a fall. The Christian who relies on self for strength instead of Word and Sacrament will not bear the name Christian for very long.   

If self is the source of focus for strength, it will always come up short. Paul was aware of this, even warning the Corinthians of it in an earlier letter he had written to them. He said, “So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don’t fall!” (1 Cor. 10:12). Look in the mirror, look at your own two feet, look to self, and don’t be surprised by the inevitable fall.  

So what is Paul’s solution? A paradox. He says, “For when I am weak, then I am strong” (v.10). He says that real strength is found in weakness. And he was speaking from experience! “Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness (vv.7b-9).” We don’t know all of the details, but we don’t need to. We can relate to being conceited – that’s us every time we mistakenly think we’re strong enough on our own! Then God allowed some hardship or suffering in Paul’s life as a “thorn in [his] flesh.” That thorn led Paul to plead for God to take it away. 

And God gave Paul everyone’s favorite answer: no. But the next time you think God’s “no” will leave you worse off in your prayers, pay attention to why God said no to Paul. He said no so that Paul would see something greater than merely the absence of suffering. He said no so that Paul could more clearly see his need for grace, as well as the abundance with which God poured grace out on him. 

Do not let that escape you this morning. God said no, and his no to Paul left Paul far better off than if God had given Paul the yes he hoped for. Maybe that’s something to consider in your prayer life. Instead of, “Lord, take it away,” what if our prayer was “Lord, let it stay?” What if we came to so firmly believe that grace was sufficient for us that our conviction in that truth equipped us to bear up under and endure any hardship?   

Do you know what happens when God uses thorns to make us painfully aware of how good we have it in him? Paul gave us an example when he commended the Thessalonian Christians for getting it. He wrote to them, “For now we really live, since you are standing firm in the Lord” (1 Thes. 3:8). What a contrast to the warning he had given in his earlier letter to the Corinthians, about thinking they were standing firmly in self. To really live is to stand firm in the Lord and his strength. And we simply will not do that until we are emptied of every sense of self strength; until nothing but our many weaknesses are exposed. 

That’s why we confess our sins. We empty ourselves of sin so that grace can fill us up. But when we fail to confess, when we hold on to or hide our sin, when we repeat it willfully or persistently defend it, where is grace supposed to fill in? How can it fill up a vessel where sin refuses to budge? How can grace be sufficient while we also savor sin? 

So we confess. We do it in church collectively as we worship, but if it is good and beneficial to do in God’s house, is it not also beneficial to do in our own house? If it is good to do on Sunday, is it not good to do every day? If it is good and beneficial in our relationship with the Lord, is it not also good and beneficial to do in every other relationship as well? But of course it is! In fact, one might rightly question how well anyone can know grace without equally knowing confession. When we know grace we have nothing to hide. When we know grace we don’t have to pretend. When we know grace we can admit to and own up to every sin and weakness, for grace has already covered it. Completely. That was Paul’s point in verse nine: “But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”

Think about when you’ve had a nice dinner, followed by an outstanding dessert, and the portions were all just right. You’re satisfied – that sweet spot between not being hungry anymore, but knowing that eating any more will leave you feeling worse. What you’ve eaten is sufficient – you don’t need anymore but you didn’t eat too little. That is the idea behind Paul’s words, “But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” “Sufficient” and “made perfect” carry the same idea – when we have grace, we have exactly what we need. If we set grace aside, then we’ll be lacking what we need. If we insist on adding something to grace, then we nullify grace. Anything less than all of Jesus is not full power; anything more than only Jesus is an unnecessary and unhelpful addition, undermining the role of grace.

This applies to every area of life in our relationship with God. When Jesus called us to deny ourselves and follow him, he didn’t mean a portion of self or just one area of life where we admit our complete and utter weakness before him, but in every area of life. In work. In relationships. In marriage. In finances. In planning. In managing material blessings. All of it calls for us to acknowledge our weakness so that we might therefore depend on his strength. To the degree that we insist on our own strength in any one area of our life, we will be lacking. Grace cannot fill in and be our strength. Grace isn’t just for forgiving sin, it’s for renewing the whole self. 

When I see that grace really is sufficient, my world changes and I can handle any thorn in my flesh. When another has gossiped or slandered against me behind my back, what if that person who wronged me is never corrected or rebuked, what if she never apologizes? What if justice is not carried out and others believe her slander or gossip against me? Grace is enough. What if my spouse doesn’t appreciate my sacrifice, express thanks, or ever bother to reciprocate it to me? Grace is enough. What if my superior at work either fails to credit me with my outstanding performance on the job or mistakenly believes that I am the one to blame for someone else’s poor performance? Grace is enough. No matter the struggle or the season of suffering, God provides strength in our weakness because grace is enough. 

Grace jars us from seeing ourselves as victims in life and instead takes the view of victors that Jesus has made us by his own victory on our behalf. That’s when we look at things differently. That’s when the words of Supreme Court Chief Justice John Roberts start to make sense. Here is a portion of the speech Roberts gave at his son’s ninth-grade commencement five years ago.  

Now the commencement speakers will typically also wish you good luck and extend good wishes to you. I will not do that, and I’ll tell you why. From time to time in the years to come, I hope you will be treated unfairly, so that you will come to know the value of justice. I hope that you will suffer betrayal because that will teach you the importance of loyalty. Sorry to say, but I hope you will be lonely from time to time so that you don’t take friends for granted. I wish you bad luck, again, from time to time so that you will be conscious of the role of chance in life and understand that your success is not completely deserved and that the failure of others is not completely deserved either. And when you lose, as you will from time to time, I hope every now and then, your opponent will gloat over your failure. It is a way for you to understand the importance of sportsmanship. I hope you’ll be ignored so you know the importance of listening to others, and I hope you will have just enough pain to learn compassion. Whether I wish these things or not, they’re going to happen. And whether you benefit from them or not will depend upon your ability to see the message in your misfortunes (access a transcript of the speech here. or watch it here).

That sounds similar to Paul’s summary in verse ten. “That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” Friends, grace is enough – and not only is grace enough, but there’s more than enough grace. God has at his disposal more than enough grace to cover anything needed in your life. Being confident of that then, go, and grow in your ability to find more of his strength in your weakness.