We love the “where are they now” type of follow-up stories. The child actor who starred in some of our favorite nostalgic films but then fell out of the limelight – what ever happened to them? The athlete responsible for the miraculous championship game or series-winning play – what are they up to now? The SharkTank contestant whose business product or idea dazzled the whole panel, leading them all to want a piece of the pie – where is that business or product now? We love the follow up stories that fill us in on the current status of key people or moments from our past.
Well, for the most part, anyway. There are always exceptions. And one of them might be found in Paul’s prior letter to the believers in Corinth, from 1 Corinthians 5. Paul described the incident here: “It is actually reported that there is sexual immorality among you, and of a kind that even pagans do not tolerate: A man is sleeping with his father’s wife. And you are proud! Shouldn’t you rather have gone into mourning and have put out of your fellowship the man who has been doing this? For my part, even though I am not physically present, I am with you in spirit. As one who is present with you in this way, I have already passed judgment in the name of our Lord Jesus on the one who has been doing this. So when you are assembled and I am with you in spirit, and the power of our Lord Jesus is present, hand this man over to Satan for the destruction of the flesh, so that his spirit may be saved on the day of the Lord” (verses 1-5).
Paul stated that the incident within the church had such an “ick” factor that it surpassed the type of stuff done outside the church around the city of Corinth – which was a city well-known for its sexual promiscuity! That’s not usually the kind of “where are they now” story we want to follow up on, but rather the kind of story we wish we’d never heard in the first place! Nevertheless, it seems quite likely that this is the incident Paul is addressing in the verses from 2 Corinthians. He’s following up on the incident to address how it was handled – and should continue to be handled – by the believers in Corinth.
As we look at this example of forgiveness today, let’s acknowledge that we have mixed feelings about it. We are in awe of examples of radical forgiveness, and realize we ought to strive for that kind of forgiveness. The powerful moment the sibling of the murder victim quiets the entire courtroom with the request and subsequent follow through to forgive and hug the murderer. The famous scene in Les Miserable when the bishop forgives Jean Valjean, which ends up radically altering his life.
But here’s also why we have a love/hate relationship with forgiveness: at times, we struggle mightily because we feel very strongly that the one on the receiving end of forgiveness didn’t deserve it. We also might wish to be able to emulate that depth of forgiveness in our own lives. We know we should, but we want to prove we’re justified when we want to withhold forgiveness from others.
Before we go further, we need to let go of a common misunderstanding about forgiveness: that it is something some people deserve and others don’t. That is the world’s version of forgiveness. It’s conditional. It’s determine on a case-by-case basis. But it isn’t biblical forgiveness.
When the Bible teaches us forgiveness, there are no conditions, because we’re all stuck equally in the same spot: undeserving. No one deserves forgiveness. One person is not more worthy of it than another. Forgiveness as God defines it has no conditions. It is unconditional. So let God use this incident that took place in a congregation long ago to help us see – and put into practice – that radical power of forgiveness.
Again, it seems very likely that these verses are in reference to the incest incident Paul covered in his first letter, although we cannot say with complete certainty. But either way, what Paul writes about following up with forgiveness here holds true regardless. A sin was committed and it resulted in the congregation exercising discipline to some degree. While Paul doesn’t cover the specific steps of dealing with sin and repentance, Jesus did.
In Matthew 18, Jesus laid out the steps for how we deal with the believer who sins against us. And the goal, make no mistake, is always to lead the guilty party to repentance, to confess the sin and admit, “I have sinned. I am sorry. Please forgive me” Then, we eagerly forgive. That’s the goal. So how do we get to that point?
To quickly review those steps, the first attempt is a one-on-one conversation. The wronged party speaks to the offender and points out the sin. Ideally, the sinner is repentant right there, forgiveness (or absolution, if you want the fancier church term) is pronounced, and healing can take place to allow all involved parties to move on.
If, however, the offender refuses to see or acknowledge any wrongdoing with that first attempt, then the individual returns again with someone else who can serve as a witness that these steps are being carried out. If that second effort doesn’t result in repentance, the third step is to get leadership from the church involved, which might include elders, the pastor, etc. Then, if even the involvement of the spiritual leaders doesn’t lead the sinner to repentance, the final step is for the congregation as a whole to inform the wrongdoer that as long as he/she is impenitent, refusing to confess that what he/she did was sin, that person is outside the church – not just the local congregation, but more importantly, Christ’s church. In other words, it’s the last loving step the church takes to declare to an individual that if nothing changes, they will end up in hell. God’s intent is that when faced with that stark reality, the offender would finally be led to see that gravity/seriousness of impenitent sin, and finally repent.
Those steps apparently served their purpose in Corinth, and the sinner was led to repentance. So in these verses, Paul is now dealing with the members of the church to guide them into welcoming back the brother who sinned. Based on his words, according to verses six and nine, Paul appears to be indicating that they had followed through with his direction to carry out out church discipline on the man, and that it had been effective. Now, he was encouraging them to respond accordingly and forgive him.
But notice something about the forgiveness Paul encourages. It isn’t merely the spoken words, “we forgive you,” but also the accompanying words, actions, and behaviors that back up that forgiveness. Paul writes, “Now instead, you ought to forgive and comfort him, so that he will not be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow. I urge you, therefore, to reaffirm your love for him” (v.7-8). This might stand out to our Lutheran ears a bit, as we tend to be wary of emotions and feelings in reference to theology and teaching. And understandably so, because we would never want to leave anyone with the impression that his or her salvation is founded on a feeling, that they are only a genuine believer who is saved if they feel like it. Those feelings must always take a back seat to the trustworthy, unchanging, declarative power of God’s Word – effective because of what God says and not determined by what we feel.
But Paul also knows what each of us know from experience: guilt. Shame. Embarrassment. Sin leaves these things spread all over the place in its wake, and while we can believe and take to heart the words, “God forgives me,” we don’t live in a vacuum. Others know about our sin. Our sin affected other people. Our sin impacted what people think of us. And so guilt and shame are not so easily shaken off to magically disappear once the assurance of forgiveness is spoken.
If you think Paul isn’t speaking from personal experience regarding concerns over how his past sins shape people’s opinion of him, then you don’t know the one who called himself chief of sinners. He knew first hand, and he often wears his heart on his sleeve as he pours out his emotions to the church in his various letters regarding his love for them, so often reciprocated in their loving kindness toward him. Don’t underestimate how deeply-rooted a person’s guilt and shame can be over their sin, so don’t hesitate to speak forgiveness and absolution, but also to show it by comforting and reaffirming the repentant sinner.
And notice the united front with which the church approaches sin. It’s a team effort. Paul leaves no question about where the repentant sinner stands as far as he is concerned, once his fellow believers have forgiven him. “Anyone you forgive, I also forgive” (v.10). “If you have handled the matter according to Scripture and confession and absolution have taken place, then I stand with you in forgiveness.” In other words, Christians don’t set up their own personal prerequisites that must be met for each individual believer to personally forgive the repentant sinner. When forgiveness is pronounced, we stand together in that pronouncement and reception of that fellow believer back into the fold.
Paul further explained why he – why each of us – is able to stand together in that pronouncement of forgiveness. He shared that he has “forgiven in the sight of Christ for your sake” (v.10). That is to say, he knows the vertical grace and forgiveness that flows from Christ to him, and when that happens, he extends that same grace and forgiveness horizontally to others. That’s very powerful.
Imagine if I walk up to an unbeliever and tell him, “I have great news: God forgives you.” Now, the Bible makes it clear that the Word of God is always powerful and effective. However, without knowing any other context or background or details about that person or about that person’s familiarity with Scripture, it’s probably logical to conclude that those words would end up like the seed sown on the hard path in Jesus’ parable and never amount to anything.
But imagine a believer approaching a drunk driver who took away their loved one’s life, or a doctor who committed malpractice that resulted in long-term care being required for a loved one, or the individual involved in the affair that rocked your marriage, and saying to each of those individual’s, “I forgive you.” Do you imagine there would be a difference? Do you think the word of forgiveness expressed directly to the guilty party from the one who was wronged would hit the person differently than “God forgives you?”
What’s the difference? It’s certainly not that God’s forgiveness is less effective or not as meaningful as ours (for we couldn’t even forgive others in such radical ways if not first forgiven ourselves!). Rather, there is context and understanding when it comes to horizontal forgiveness. The guilty individual knows what they did wrong, who they did it against, and then witness that person forgiving them instead of the expectation of wanting to get even or see them suffer.
And it’s that horizontal forgiveness that can then serve as the introduction to a more meaningful understanding of the vertical forgiveness we have from God through Jesus Christ. We are then able to explain the source of such radical forgiveness. It flows from the forgiveness – even more radical than our own forgiving of others – that we have through Jesus Christ. So the cross isn’t just the source of forgiveness, but also the shape of it – illustrating the vertical forgiveness coming down to us from God through Christ, and the horizontal forgiveness we then extend to others.
At some point grace has to be brought into the picture. We can’t just insist that others forgive “because it’s the right thing to do.” We can’t strong-arm others with “you need to forgive” If there is no concept of grace involved in this process, then there is no proper power or motivation to forgive. It is then relegated to one of many beneficial civic duties. Sure, it can still be a good thing, but God is always more interested in our hearts than just a good outward action. And hearts need grace to forgive those who wrong us. Lots of grace. And in Jesus, that is exactly what we have.
His grace forgives us – even when we don’t want to extend it to others. His grace forgives us – even when we don’t want others to receive it because we don’t feel they deserve it. His grace forgives us – even when we fumble forgiveness so often in our own lives.
Paul concludes this section by highlighting why this subject matter is so important. The matter of sin within a congregation must always be handled with care, because it is potentially one of the most destructive mistakes that Satan can use against a group of believers to cause an implosion. He reminded the Corinthians of Satan’s attempts to “outwit us. For we are not unaware of his schemes” (v.11). It isn’t just other believers and the outside world who are watching to see how sin is handled; Satan has a front-row seat, and he’s already going to try to use any sin to fracture the body of Christ, so we don’t want to give him any more ammunition than he already has when sin has been committed.
He counts it as a win when sin has been committed, but the sinner remains impenitent. He counts it as a win when sin has been committed and confessed, but other believers fail to forgive. Satan delights in using sin and mishandled forgiveness to cause division in the body of Christ and destroy souls in the process. So recognize the seriousness of forgiveness and how we follow up with it.
Let us ultimately pray that the “where are they now” story of every believer ends up the same. Back in Christ’s church. Ultimately with their place in heaven locked in and reserved through the forgiving blood of Jesus. And let’s not just speak it to make sure it’s known, but also show it in every possible way.