{"id":28,"date":"2016-11-18T06:54:33","date_gmt":"2016-11-18T14:54:33","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/1thingmatters.com\/?p=28"},"modified":"2016-11-18T06:54:33","modified_gmt":"2016-11-18T14:54:33","slug":"stop-trying-to-be-helpful","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/1thingmatters.com\/?p=28","title":{"rendered":"Stop Trying to Be “Helpful.”"},"content":{"rendered":"
\""helpful"\"
Image by \u00a9 Royalty-Free\/Corbis<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n
\n

\u201cCan* I do it?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

It is every parent\u2019s favorite question of a child, especially when urgency calls or efficiency demands that mom or dad fix\/cook\/bake\/etc. it ASAP. We\u2019re torn between responding with a \u201cnext time\u201d and just getting it quickly completed ourselves or, letting junior jump in and help, knowing full well that doing so will require two things:<\/span><\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Extreme patience<\/span><\/li>\n
  2. More extreme patience<\/span><\/li>\n
  3. The willingness to either<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    a) finish what your \u201chelpful\u201d\u00a0child got\u00a0bored with after approximately 2.34 seconds and instead decided to go off and annoy his sibling who was playing perfectly peacefully all on his own with his little toy that kept him occupied and out of trouble but who\u00a0now is screaming bloody murder because formerly \u201chelpful\u201d child knew with astounding efficiency which button of his to push in record time – about\u00a02.34 seconds, ironically,\u00a0or<\/span><\/p>\n

    b) undo and\/or redo whatever \u201chelpful\u201d child ultimately\u00a0\u201ccontributed\u201d to the initial task at hand.<\/span><\/p>\n

    (I suppose there is also the possibility in the above scenario\u00a0that the \u201chelpful\u201d child does, on occasion, actually help,\u00a0does an excellent job, and we\u2019re thrilled to have spent the quality time together with our kid, but<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

      \n
    1. we want to do everything we can to avoid giving our kids a big head,<\/span><\/em><\/li>\n
    2. the scenario in which the helpful child does get it right doesn\u2019t actually serve in any way to help me make the point at which I am eventually going to arrive,<\/span><\/em><\/li>\n
    3. I think we can all agree that the outline above was\u00a0getting ridiculously out of hand and went well\u00a0beyond the initial \u201ctwo things\u201d promised,<\/span><\/em><\/li>\n
    4. oh dear, I\u2019m doing it again.)<\/span><\/em><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

      So where am I going with this? Glad you asked, one person who is still reading this.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

      The tendency of our children to ask, \u201cCan I do it?\u201d is not unique to children. In fact, it is\u00a0the very same question – or rather insistence – that each and every one of us has in our relationship with God. We are naturally wired to think that we can do\u00a0something, anything – big or small – to buddy up to him and establish some sort of pleasing partnership or real relationship with him. We\u2019re not so interested in what He has to say about it; we know that we want to contribute and, by\u00a0golly, we\u2019re going to help.<\/span><\/p>\n

      There\u2019s just one problem: our \u201chelp\u201d isn\u2019t actually\u00a0helpful at all. In fact, it doesn\u2019t count for anything. Ever. God says quite clearly that your \u201cgood enough\u201d isn\u2019t good enough (cf.\u00a0James 2:10)<\/span><\/a>.<\/span><\/p>\n

      \u201cCan I do it?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

      The answer is no. You can\u2019t.<\/span><\/p>\n

      But\u2026 that\u2019s only the first part of the answer. It gets better. Here\u2019s the\u00a0rest of God\u2019s answer to the question, \u201cCan I do it?\u201d:<\/span><\/p>\n

      \u201cFor it is by grace\u00a0you have been saved,\u00a0through faith\u2014and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God\u2014not by works,\u00a0so that no one can boast\u201d (Ephesians 2:8,9).<\/b><\/span><\/h2>\n

       <\/p>\n

      He already did it. By grace.<\/span><\/p>\n

      Let that be enough, and stop trying to “help.”<\/span><\/p>\n

      \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

      *Attention grammar police: I can relate to the consternation you no doubt experience when encountering a\u00a0\u201cCan\u201d in place of a proper\u00a0\u201cMay.\u201d I share your pain. Please excuse it just this once\u2026 as well as any future posts in which\u00a0grave grammar offenses\u00a0will undoubtedly occur.<\/i><\/b><\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

      \u201cCan* I do it?\u201d It is every parent\u2019s favorite question of a child, especially when urgency calls or efficiency demands that mom or dad fix\/cook\/bake\/etc. it ASAP. We\u2019re torn between responding with a \u201cnext time\u201d and just getting it quickly completed ourselves or, letting junior jump in and help, knowing full well that doing so… Continue reading Stop Trying to Be “Helpful.”<\/span> →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-28","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p842FN-s","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/1thingmatters.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/28","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/1thingmatters.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/1thingmatters.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/1thingmatters.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/1thingmatters.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=28"}],"version-history":[{"count":9,"href":"https:\/\/1thingmatters.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/28\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":38,"href":"https:\/\/1thingmatters.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/28\/revisions\/38"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/1thingmatters.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=28"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/1thingmatters.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=28"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/1thingmatters.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=28"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}