I wish they would be more like me.
That may come across as a bit arrogant or pompous. OK, it’s a lot arrogant and pompous. But can you at least appreciate my honesty?
After all, isn’t that pretty much what we mean when we’re commenting on someone else’s words or actions? “I wish they would be more like me.” They shouldn’t have done, said, or handled it the way they did, but how I would have done, said, or handled it.
Truth is, deep down we all tend to think pretty highly of ourselves, and perhaps that is most reflected by our natural inclination to analyze the behavior of others on a continual basis. Sometimes we’ll verbalize our analysis; other times we just keep it to ourselves. Either way, we are constantly giving others our own personal performance review to determine whether or not they measure up. And we use ourselves as the standard (even if we pretend to mask it with such nonsense as “Not that I am perfect, by any means, but…”).
We look for ways to deny or deflect this reality, like placing the blame on how awful social media is, but the hard truth is that such things are merely a reflection of our own ugly reality (Remember when it was convenient to blame everything on “the media”? Have we realized how much social media has shown us where the finger really should have been pointed the whole time?).
What if there was a filter we could first apply to ourselves before making an assessment of others? Would you find that helpful? Do you think it might also shape the lens through which you view the words and actions of others? Let me suggest one:
Finally, all of you, be like-minded, be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and humble” (1 Peter 3:8 NIV).
Before I determine whether or not someone else fits this description, I do well to perform a quick self-assessment. As I quickly realize my own shortfalls, I am less inclined to render my own judgment on someone else’s words or actions, since “I wish they would be more like me” doesn’t quite have the same ring to it anymore.
The added bonus of such a filter? It leads me back to the One who alone fits the description perfectly.